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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29863737">Sunlight, Starlight, Moonlight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/justaraven/pseuds/justaraven'>justaraven</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji-centric, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxious Akaashi Keiji, AroAce Kozume Kenma, Aromantic Asexual Kozume Kenma, Bipolar Bokuto Koutarou, Bisexual Kuroo Tetsurou, Demisexual Akaashi Keiji, Depressed Akaashi Keiji, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Gay Akaashi Keiji, Injured Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou is Bad at Feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Multi, POV Akaashi Keiji, Writer Akaashi Keiji, volleyball at the park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:02:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,760</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29863737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/justaraven/pseuds/justaraven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi Keiji is determined to fulfill his parents’ high expectations. His only focus is his Pre-law classes until a volleyball mishap drags him into the world of Bokuto Koutarou. Will Akaashi be able to let himself be happy when this new world conflicts with everything he grew up with?</p><p>And what happens when dissonance with Bokuto’s best friend turns into something else?</p><p>“I took one look at his face, and I knew he was a goner. Then, I took one look at yours, and I realized I was, too.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji &amp; Kozume Kenma, Akaashi Keiji &amp; Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sporadic update schedule for now, but I do have chapters written ahead.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">“Normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow.”</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-Vincent van Gogh</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>Akaashi shoved his Principles of Law textbook shut with a heavy sigh. It certainly wasn’t his first choice of a major, but at least it would make his parents happy. Sure, he’d only had one class and his soul was already crushed, but as long as he was making his parents proud, did it really matter?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I swear, your sighs are louder than my crazy friend’s laughing,” a voice came from under the blanket of the second bed in the dorm room. Akaashi’s roommate, as of three days ago, just before classes started. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, Kozume-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenma. Seriously, just Kenma. Please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right. Sorry, Kenma.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I meant to tell you, said friend is coming over tomorrow. Sorry, I didn’t want him to. He might bring his even louder friend along too, so I figured you’d definitely need the heads up.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Great. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s all right, Kenma. Maybe the library will be open.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma hummed in response, and supposedly resumed whatever game he was most definitely playing beneath that blanket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi needed some fresh air. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma was nice, of course, but he wasn’t very talkative, aside from the occasional sarcastic comment. That conversation was probably the longest they’d held yet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This worked for Akaashi, since he also wasn’t prone to conversation, but the silent room with his law book sitting there was starting to feel suffocating. He grabbed the book he was reading for his literature class, the saving grace of his schedule, and headed out of the room, muttering a quick “bye” to Kenma as he closed the door behind him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a park on campus, small and lively with patches of flowers surrounding each bench, and a sandy volleyball court tucked into the back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was drawn to a bench near the court thanks to the active 3v3 volleyball game going on there. The calls would provide nice, familiar background noise to his reading. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sat down and pulled out his book, Starlight by Richard Wagamese. The unfinished novel was his assignment for his advanced literature class. They were required to read the book and write an ending, at which point the class would have an anonymous vote for the best ending. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked up at the game periodically, making note of the odd characters playing. One team consisted of a very tall blonde boy with glasses, a pretty guy with silver hair, and a muscular guy with frosted tips gelled up in spikes. The other team included a man with short, dark hair, a taller guy with messy black hair covering one eye, and a boy with brown hair that almost looked green. The light haired team seemed to be better balanced, with a skilled setter, ace, and blocker. The darker haired team was weaker with spikes and sets. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi looked back down at his book, trying to focus. Frank...Emmy...his abandoned law book crept back into the edges of his mind, his heart rate increasing with the steady anxiety it brought. His assigned reading wasn’t due until the start of the next week, but he was still dreading it, and it took a while for him to get through the pages of that dense book. He just wished he could enjoy his literature homework in peace. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was startled from his anxiety by a shout of, “HEY, STARLIGHT, LOOK OUT!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi looked up to see a volleyball hurdling towards him and instinctively lifted his book to cover his face. The ball slammed into his fingers and bounced onto the ground, along with the book that was knocked out of his grasp. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he could reach for it, the book was being handed to him, and he followed the arm up to its face and bright golden eyes. The frosted tips ace. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry! I’m really sorry about that, I can be a little too strong sometimes, I’m sorry!” Three apologies already, dear lord. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s alright, I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you? Is your hand okay? I’m sorry!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Starlight, you good?” the voice that had yelled earlier asked, and Akaashi shifted his vision to see the tall one with messy black hair. Starlight? Right, his book. He still hadn’t accepted it from the other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Book safely back in his hands, he was about to rise to escape back to his dorm room when the rest of the players arrived. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That was an awful rebound, Bokuto,” the blond one stated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I told you it was a bad set!” the one with silver hair said, almost apologetically. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry about him, he’s a little too energetic for his own good.” This came from the one with the short, dark hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, it was my block that aimed for him. Suga’s set, Bo’s force, my block. All of our faults. Waddaya say, Starlight, do you forgive us?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi almost felt overwhelmed by all the sudden attention, but the pain in his left hand refocused him. He needed to get back to his dorm building to get ice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Daichi, go get him some ice from the cooler! I’ll grab the first aid kid from the car,” the silver haired setter said, rushing off with the man with short hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Um, Bokuto-san, Tsukki and I were supposed to leave a while ago. Is it okay to go?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh? Oh, yeah, of course! See you guys later!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Have fun, lovebirds~!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And just like that, Akaashi was left alone with Messy Hair and Frosted Tips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m Bokuto! Bokuto Koutarou!” Frosted Tips yelled suddenly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you in advanced literature? Sophomore?” Messy Hair asked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo, I was trying to get his name!” Frosted Tips, or Bokuto, whined. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akaashi.” It was primarily the man’s earnestness that caused Akaashi to answer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry my rebound hit you, Akashi!” Bokuto said, cutting his name just a bit short. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was when the earlier duo returned, wielding a rag holding ice and a small first aid kit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto took the first aid kit with a loud, “Thanks, Suga!” and sat down next to Akaashi. “Here, hold out your hand and I’ll wrap it! That way, even if it’s broken or swells, it’ll be okay!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s not exactly how it-“ Suga started, but was cut off by Messy Hair, or Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just let him. It’s not broken, he’s not quite capable of that. Unless Starlight here is just exceptionally fragile.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi narrowed his eyes, earning a chuckle from Kuroo. “No offense, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have my name. You can stop calling me that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nah.” Kuroo earned himself a karate chop to the waist from Suga with that, which made Akaashi smile. He quickly grew aware of Bokuto’s stillness beside him, so he turned to look, and ended up staring directly into bright golden eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, ‘kaashi! You’ve just got a really pretty smile!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi felt his face grow warm, and suddenly Bokuto was done wrapping his fingers and had moved on to holding the ice rag onto his hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nope. No crushes. No dating. Akaashi scolded himself for getting ideas from a simple complement from a stranger. A stranger who was currently technically holding his hand.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll be going now, Koushi has a late class soon.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See you, Daichi,” Kuroo called out as the pair left. “Say, Bo, before we go, shouldn’t you get Starlight’s number so you can check on him later?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto’s eyes seemed to light up at the suggestion, and they stared at Akaashi full of hope. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Giving him his number wouldn’t equal a date. He could ignore any messages, or he could block the unknown sender. There weren’t any guarantees that Bokuto would remember this interaction later to text him anyways. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The grin on Bokuto’s face as he handed his phone back with contact information having been input was enough to lift his spirits, and Akaashi walked back to his dorm room with a stinging hand and a lighter heart. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong><span class="s1">“All my grief says the same thing: </span>this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. <span class="s1">And the world laughs, holds my hope by the throat. Says: but this is how it is.”</span></strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-Fortesa Latifi </span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>
Friday was not a good day for Akaashi. In preparation for earning a law degree, his parents had “suggested” several courses to him, one of which was his political science class. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wouldn’t have been so much torture if not for the teacher, who knew his father, and as such already held high expectations for him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And, of course, there was the infamous Oikawa Tooru. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Also going for a law degree, Oikawa Tooru had made it his mission to compete with Akaashi constantly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa’s competitive spirit was a nightmare for Akaashi, who was just trying to make it through the course unscathed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead, he wound up constantly comparing scores and ranks with an egotistical genius, and not just for PoliSci. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite this being their only class together, Oikawa had somehow compiled a list of all of the classes they had in common since the previous year. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi had been perfectly content to detest Oikawa for dragging him into meaningless competitions that only added additional stress to the pressure he felt from his parents. Yet somehow, he had gotten roped into lunch with him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thus, before noon that Friday, Akaashi found himself walking into the cafe nearest his dorm building to see the head of coiffed chocolate hair focused on a phone screen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He almost flinched when Oikawa’s head lifted and his gaze landed on him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pretty-kun!” Akaashi ignored the nickname, having heard it throughout his freshman year. “Iwa-chan says hi!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi had never met Iwa-chan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, Oikawa’s eyes were on an approaching waiter, and he called out, “Refreshing-kun! Over here!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi followed his gaze to a familiar face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh! Akaashi, wasn’t it? How’s your hand?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi’s hand had only twinged with pain that morning, so he hadn’t rewrapped it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Almost back to normal, thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m glad! My name is Sugawara! I already know what Tooru wants to drink, but what about you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mocha Macchiato, please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Be right back!” Sugawara said with a smile before striding away. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“SO Pretty-kun met Refreshing-kun!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How did that happen? And what happened to your hand?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“His volleyball game went wrong.” Oikawa’s cheery demeanor dropped at that, but he quickly recovered into a clearly forced smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They do that sometimes,” he choked out bitterly, leaving Akaashi to wonder what volleyball ever did to him. “I’m going to the bathroom. Don’t try to escape while I’m gone!” he called, trying to behave like his normal self with a wink and a peace sign as he left. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh gosh,” Sugawara sighed as he sat their drinks down. “Did you mention volleyball?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. What happened?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He got hurt in his third year and had to quit. I think there’s more to it than that, but Iwaizumi’s the only one who knows.” Ah, so that’s the famous Iwa-chan’s full name. “What I do know is that it was his life, and everything he has left is a backup plan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi simultaneously felt a twinge of sympathy and jealousy for Oikawa. The cause of the sympathy was obvious. Who could be so cruel as to not feel bad for someone who lost their dream like that? The jealousy, however, was caused by the new knowledge that Oikawa was beating Akaashi’s only plan with his backup plan. Akaashi had been trying so hard to succeed in his classes to impress his parents, and Oikawa almost always beat him out, with literature classes being the only exception. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still, he couldn’t imagine losing something that was such an important part of him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t even have anything like that to lose. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s awful,” he finally said. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think he handled it pretty well. He’s less condescending than he was in high school.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You knew him in high school?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, not really. Our volleyball team played against his a couple of times is all. He got hurt right before semifinals, though.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Refreshing-kun, are you smothering Pretty-kun?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Tooru. How was class?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great! We have to choose partners for a project so I’m making Pretty-kun work with me!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi had never agreed to this. Or heard anything about it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You are?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep! Oh, that reminds me, Pretty-kun, I need your number! Give me your phone.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi felt his sympathy diminish. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nevertheless, he pulled out his phone to see three new messages. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Kenma</strong>: my friend’s class was canceled so he’s coming over earlier but he’ll be gone in a couple hours</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown</strong>: I know where you live ;)</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown</strong>: this isn’t Bo btw</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pretty-kun?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wasn’t quite sure what to make of the messages. Was Unknown Kenma’s friend? It would make sense given that they were at his dorm room at the moment. Not Bo? Was that just clarification because he just gave him his number? Who all knew about that? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s wrong, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sugawara. Do you know who this number is?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi held his phone out for the others to see. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Probably Kuroo. He’s the only one I can think of who calls Bokuto Bo.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Right. Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I still haven’t met Kenma!” Oikawa suddenly complained. I’ve known Tetsu-chan and Kouta-chan for over a year now!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s Kuroo and Bokuto,” Sugawara translated to Akaashi. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Okay. So one of them was Kenma’s friend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t know Kenma knew them.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, he grew up with Kuroo! They met Bokuto in high school.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, that answered that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Has Bokuto not texted you yet?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Had Sugawara even been there when he gave Bokuto his number?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He was so excited about you! I can’t believe he’s being such a chicken.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, Refreshing-kun, that’s enough! My turn to torment him!” Sugawara sighed and left, and Oikawa looked at Akaashi. “We have to do a presentation, so we’re going shopping! No more blacks and grays for you. I need to get you an outfit in a color that complements both of us. Maybe a shade of green. I bet emerald would look great with your eyes!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How exactly did lunch become a shopping trip?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa-san, I have a class at three.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, I’ll have you back by then! Let’s go!” Akaashi was starting to realize he didn’t get much of a choice when it came to Oikawa. “Cover me, Suga! I’ll pay you back!” Sugawara answered with a thumbs up, and the pair was walking down the campus street. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They ended up taking the bus to a shopping district, much to Akaashi’s chagrin, and Oikawa clearly knew his way around. Akaashi found himself being led to store after store, and before he knew it, he had a full shopping bag. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t look so down! I did at least let you stick with dark colors. The dark green sweater will be perfect for our presentation, and any of the navy tops will work for your date with Kouta-chan!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi stopped abruptly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, come on, I have ears! It’s actually been quite a while since he was interested in anything other than volleyball. Unless you count plants, but volleyball still trumps that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Plants?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, he hasn’t declared a major. He’s deciding between sports medicine and botany. Said he doesn’t care because he’s going to play pro after he graduates anyways. He took the intro to botany class freshman year for the fun of it and ended up getting really into it, though Tetsu-chan ended up helping him with a lot of his homework.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Interesting.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you like him?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa shrugged. “Sometimes you just know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he ignored the part of his brain hoping it was Bokuto. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Kenma</strong>: they finally left me alone to go to the park</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Kenma</strong>: dorm is now safe </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smiled at Kenma’s attitude towards his friends. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll text you so we can plan when to meet to plan our presentation,” Oikawa said as they got off of the bus near his dorm. “See you later, Pretty-kun!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi gave him a small wave and headed towards his dorm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he got there, Kenma was in his normal position, playing some game under the blanket on his bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi opted not to bother him, instead just putting his shopping bags down, grabbing his things for class, and heading back out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi spent the class processing the information he’d gained over the day rather than listening to the professor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa was injured and had to give up his dream, settling for becoming a lawyer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo grew up with Kenma. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto wanted to be a professional volleyball player but went to university first, and gained an interest in botany. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone was expecting him to go on a date with Bokuto. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto still hadn’t texted him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, his thoughts were focused on Bokuto alone. He was a talented ace. Perhaps Akaashi’s high school team would have done better with someone like that for him to set to. Perhaps their success would have kept his parents from making him quit his third year. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto was definitely objectively attractive, muscular from years of athletics, but that didn’t mean Akaashi was interested. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even if his eyes were the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The class couldn’t have ended soon enough, and Akaashi was glad to focus on the path back to his dorm room rather than the thoughts swarming his head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He watched his feet cross each other on the sidewalk, which was apparently a mistake, since he bumped into something tall and solid outside of his building.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I’m so-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“AKAAAASHI!!!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-rry. Hello, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course. Of course he would run into him here. Why was he here? Did he leave something when he visited Kenma?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I brought you something!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto held up a small purple flower, and then tucked it behind Akaashi’s ear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi stayed as still as possible. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a morning glory! There were a bunch of them around the bench you were sitting on.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was smiling wide, and the sight of it made Akaashi’s heart race. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How’s your hand?” His expression quickly turned from overjoyed to anxious. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, it’s fine. Much better, thank you.” Akaashi felt the strange need to reassure him, and it evidently worked, because he went right back to smiling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good! Hey, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s a cafe my friend works at...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sugawara-san?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! You’ve been?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Oikawa-san dragged me there after my class with him today.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know Oikawa?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s been in some of my classes since last year. We’re only acquaintances.” Akaashi chose not to mention the shopping trip, especially considering what Oikawa suggested he wear the navy shirts for. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, cool! Anyways, I was gonna ask if you would maybe consider going to Suga’s cafe with me tomorrow morning for coffee?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was not surprised by the invitation. He didn’t understand Bokuto’s interest in him, but he was aware of it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What did surprise him was the almost instinctual “sure” that came out of his own mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But when he saw Bokuto’s golden eyes light up, he decided he wouldn’t take back his answer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One date didn’t mean a relationship, after all. Surely, it would only serve to show Bokuto that Akaashi was boring and not worth the trouble. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One date was harmless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Akashiii! I’ll see you there at ten tomorrow!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto ran off leaving Akaashi to ask himself what just happened. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally gathering himself, he walked up to his dorm, where he was met with the sight of Kenma sitting against the side of his bed playing his game, rather than laying on it hiding under a blanket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma lifted an eyebrow at the sight of the flower behind Akaashi’s ear. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi quickly removed it and moved to throw it away, but sat it on his copy of <em>Starlight</em> on his desk instead. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His phone vibrated, and he once again found himself hoping it was Bokuto. Instead, the unknown number was back with confirmation of the sender’s identity. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown</strong>: have fun tmrw Starlight ;)</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Morning glory’s symbolize affection! There’s lots of flower language relevance...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-J.R.R. Tolkien </span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>
“We really need a mirror. I could have slept for two more hours.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s past nine, Kenma.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. On a Saturday. The sweater looks fine, but you should tuck it in in the front. And wear your glasses.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma shrugged, but Akaashi obeyed nonetheless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you have a white collared shirt you could put on under that?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi sighed deeply. “Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ten minutes later, he was looking at the full-body pictures Kenma took so that he could see the outfit without a mirror. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Seriously, we need to go shopping,” Kenma groaned as he returned to his hiding place under his blanket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was in awe over how good the outfit looked. He wasn’t particularly lazy with clothes, but he also never put much focus on it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How are you so good at this when you only wear hoodies?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blanket rose and fell as Kenma shrugged again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Kenma. I’ll be going.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A soft “good luck” came from under the blanket, and Akaashi smiled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This time, when Akaashi entered the cafe, he was not met with Oikawa’s chocolate hair or Sugawara’s silver. There was no Bokuto, either. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He checked the time. 9:58. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sat down at the same table he’d shared with Oikawa the previous day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi! Can I take your order?” His waiter was not familiar, a short boy with bright orange hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mocha macchiato, please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Without dropping his grin or tone, the boy said, “I don’t know what that is!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you know what a macchiato is?” Akaashi asked, trying his best to sound helpful and not condescending. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope! Suga-san told me but I forgot.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Espresso with steamed milk.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh! Right!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a macchiato with chocolate drizzle.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay! On it!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was very much concerned about how his drink would come out, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it because his phone vibrated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> HEY Akaashi this is Bokuto! Im running l8 b there in 10 mins!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi saved the number. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry! I got the chocolate drizzle on the sides!” The waiter returned a few minutes later with a cup surrounded by a mess of napkins. “I tried to clean it up, but it’s still kinda messy!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s alright.” The boy was clearly trying, and he was too genuine for Akaashi to get irritated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re actually really nice! Usually people get tired of me messing stuff— BOKUTO-SENPAI!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi turned to see the entrance, where Hinata was looking, and sure enough, Bokuto’s salt and pepper spikes were in view. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hinata! My disciple, hey hey hey!” Bokuto’s gaze shifted to Akaashi. “AGHAAASHI YOU LOOK SO AMAZING!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...thank you, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t know how to act around Bokuto. He was unlike anyone he’d known before. He was loud and spontaneous and so...happy. Akaashi was none of those things, so why would Bokuto show interest in him? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And why should Akaashi show interest in Bokuto? He couldn’t be in a relationship. He didn’t have time for that, not to mention the fact he’d have to hide it from his parents. Feelings were distracting, and it would only lead to heartbreak. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I brought this for you!” Bokuto held out a small sunflower, which Akaashi took from him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aw! Of course the nice guy is here for you, Bokuto-senpai! You should have seen it, I forgot some stuff and instead of getting mad, he helped me remember!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Man, I could just tell that you were a good person when I saw you!” Bokuto said, looking at Akaashi with something akin to adoration. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you want me to make you, Bokuto-senpai?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anything you want, shorty-pants! Have fun with it!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi must have given him a look, because as soon as Hinata left, Bokuto was explaining himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He asked Suga for a job here because he likes being creative with it. Kuroo said I’m the only one with an iron stomach that can handle his mistakes!” he laughed. “I don’t know, though. He’s the one drinking his way through the menu.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo-san?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! He calls it a science experiment but I think he’s just bad at deciding.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Interesting. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So Bokuto was willing to drink whatever Hinata made to make him happy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He certainly wasn’t making this easy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Here, Bokuto-senpai! There’s a bunch of chocolate and caramel syrup in it!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, shorty!” Bokuto took a big drink from it, and his eyes widened. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you like it?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s AWESOME, Hinata! So much sugar!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Too much sugar did not sound awesome, but Akaashi wasn’t about to say that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Watching Bokuto be so supportive of Hinata was too sweet to interrupt, anyways, so Akaashi just fiddled with the stem of the dwarf sunflower Bokuto had brought him instead. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After Hinata returned to the counter, Akaashi figured he’d ask. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How do you know him?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, he played against my team in high school! I taught him some stuff, like rebounds!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hope you didn’t teach him to aim for poor students reading on benches,” Akaashi said with a flat tone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto looked like him like he’d grown an extra head, before breaking out into boisterous laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That was hilarious, Akaashi!” His face turned serious. “I am sorry though.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s alright, my hand is perfectly fine now.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto’s mood seemed to even out after that, and he asked Akaashi about his major. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t see it,” he said after Akaashi explained his plans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t see what?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t see you as a lawyer. You’d make a good one, of course! You’d be amazing at anything! It just doesn’t seem very you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>You don’t know me</em>, Akaashi wanted to say, but he didn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Because he didn’t know himself, either. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Does botany seem very <em>you</em>?” he asked instead. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well I’m not majoring in it! Just taking some classes in it! Kuroo still needs to help me, though. There’s some equations and complicated words and stuff that I’m bad at memorizing, but science is like, his thing.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Right, Oikawa had mentioned “Tetsu-chan” helping Bokuto with homework. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m also taking some sports medicine classes, but the anatomy stuff still kills me,” he sighed. “I’ll be joining a team after I graduate, anyways!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I see. My parents would like me to go overseas for law school after graduation.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What about you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you want to do, outside of what your parents want?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well...” Nothing. Akaashi had no plans besides what his parents wanted. “Their plan is my plan.” He didn’t answer the question, but thankfully, Bokuto didn’t push.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did Hinata get your order right?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. I’m sure he just needs clear instructions and less complicated words.” Akaashi spoke looking down at his cup, and when he looked back up, Bokuto was smiling fondly at him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Usually, people lose their patience with him. He’s a good kid, though! Well, not technically a kid anymore but...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I understand.” Then, he remembered a question he’d had. “How did you and Kuroo-san realize I was Kenma’s roommate?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, that was all Kuroo! He saw that book you were reading and asked Kenma!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. Interesting, once again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo made some food last night, and I was supposed to bring some over for Kenma later. Do you think I could bring some for you, too?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t want to feel like he owed anything to Bokuto, and especially not Kuroo, but not having to figure out plans for dinner did seem awfully nice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi let Bokuto ramble about plants and volleyball for a while longer before taking his leave. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he returned to his dorm room, he found himself feeling lighter, almost happy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The feeling was ruined when he checked his phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> hey starlight meet me at the bar I work at </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> we need to talk about bo</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>You:</strong> Why would I do that, Kuroo-san?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> to get this back</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> <em>*attached: one image*</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The image was of Kuroo holding Akaashi’s Principles of Law textbook. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did he take it when he visited Kenma?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenma, if your friends are going to take my things when they visit, they won’t be allowed to anymore.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please ban them,” Kenma said from underneath his blanket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>You:</strong> Where do you work?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> <em>*attached: one location*</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> see you at six ;)</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dwarf sunflowers symbolize adoration!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong> <span class="s1">“Everyone wants to be someone’s sun, to light up someone’s life, but why not be someone’s moon, to brighten in the darkest hour?”</span> </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong> <span class="s1">-Anonymous</span> </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>
As six o’clock approached, Akaashi’s mind had created several scenarios of what might occur, each more terrifying than the last. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had come to the conclusion that he was going to be murdered. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still, he had to go. He’d paid 30,000 yen for that textbook. He wasn’t about to leave it in the hands of Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d tried explaining to Kuroo that he wouldn’t be 20 until December, but Kuroo just said that he was friends with the bouncer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenma, if Kuroo-san kills me, will you avenge me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ha. No. Bokuto probably would, though.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I doubt those two would turn on each other.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma gave him a look he couldn’t quite interpret. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t forget, Bokuto will be here around 7:30. I’m sure he wants to see you, and I don’t want to have to listen to him whine about you not being here, so be back.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. If I’m alive, that is.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bar was just down the street from the cafe, and Akaashi found himself standing just out of the way of the entrance at 5:59, refusing to be even one minute early to see Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He watched the time on his phone, waiting until it read 6:01 to walk over to the bouncer, who was shorter than him but still managed to seem intimidating with a buzzcut and aggressive expression. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“ID?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I...I’m not-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, are you Akaashi?” The bouncer’s expression completely changed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“HEY NOYA!” At the call, an even shorter man came out of the bar, the front of his hair bleached blonde. “Go tell Kuroo his date’s here!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Date?!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Relax! We can tell when he’s kidding. Besides, Bokuto’s already been by and talked about you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course he had. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I already took over his shift, I’ll bring you to where he’s waiting!” the shorter one exclaimed before grabbing Akaashi’s wrist and pulling him into the bar. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo was waiting at a table in the corner, staring frustrated at his phone, with one glass in front of him and another across from him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Kuroo! Akaashi’s here!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo looked up, and when he saw Akaashi, his mouth formed a smirk. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, Noya. You can leave us to it.” He gestured for Akaashi to sit across from him, and he did. “Man, Starlight, you had a date with Bo this morning and a date with me now. So lucky.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Give me my book, Kuroo-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to that. I was serious, though. We need to talk about Bo.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo took a deep breath and dropped the smirk. “First off, thank you for making him happy. He was smiling like an idiot when he got back to our place earlier.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. Why would Bokuto be so happy from spending time with Akaashi? He wasn’t very good company, and a terrible conversationalist. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shook off his surprise to respond. “Bokuto-san is a good person. He deserves to be happy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But you don’t think you should be the one to make him happy.” It wasn’t a question or an accusation, just an observation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bokuto-san is...different. He deserves more than he can get from me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo’s eyes were narrowed, scrutinizing. After a moment of staring into Akaashi’s soul, he backed off. “Too bad, you’re stuck with him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look, Bo’s like the sun. He sucks people into his orbit and lights up their lives, ya know?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that the nicest thing you’ve ever said?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, I’m always nice! Anyways, my point is that you’ll find yourself drawn to him, now. It’s just the effect he has on people.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi nodded slowly. He really didn’t have time to be pulled into someone’s orbit. He had already lost time on his Principles of Law assignment thanks to these two. He couldn’t let that become a pattern. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still, he saw plenty of truth in Kuroo’s metaphor. Not only was he drawn to Bokuto, like how he’d agreed to get coffee before even thinking, but Bokuto was also warm and radiant in a manner Akaashi had never seen in someone else before. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was that all, Kuroo-san?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope! Of course, I also have to give you the ‘don’t hurt my best friend’ talk!” Akaashi rolled his eyes, but Kuroo continued. “Bo can be really fragile for someone who looks so tough. I won’t go into details because it’s his business, but he has moods that most people don’t want to deal with. He’s had too many people decide he’s too annoying and not worth it. You’d better not end up being one of them.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi still didn’t understand why everyone was acting like he was getting married to Bokuto, but he was also offended by the implication. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wouldn’t abandon Bokuto-san, and he’s already injured me, so if I was going to be annoyed away from him, it would have happened by now. If anything, you’d be the one to annoy me into leaving.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You wound me, Starlight! But I appreciate that.” Kuroo glanced down at the glasses between them, Akaashi’s still being full. “Aren’t you going to drink anything?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t drink, Kuroo-san. I’m not twenty yet. I told you this.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t drink illegally, which is why that’s a club soda.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We do have some non-alcoholic options, so you’ll have to let me know what you like for the next time you come by,” Kuroo said, winking. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Quite presumptuous of you to conclude I would willingly spend time in your company.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, there’s plenty of things in your dorm room for me to steal and blackmail you with!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, I’m sure Bokuto-san wouldn’t be bothered at all to hear that his best friend is blackmailing me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ooh, that’s cold, Starlight. Doesn’t matter, I’m sure you’ll come to enjoy my company in time.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Doubtful.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was saved from Kuroo’s response by the vibrating of his phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He checked the caller ID: <strong>Mom</strong></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nevermind. Not saved. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, Kuroo-san, I have to take this.” Akaashi started to stand, but Kuroo held out an arm to stop him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No worries, answer it here, I don’t mind.” Akaashi hadn’t tried to get out because he was worried Kuroo might mind, but he didn’t voice this thought. Instead, he scowled and answered his phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Keiji?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, mom.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Keiji! How are your classes going?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They’re going fine.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Have you beat that one boy in rank, yet?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa? No, I haven’t. He’s very smart and a hard worker.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, you’re smart too, Keiji, so just work harder and you’ll beat him! Anyways, about your living situation...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Right, this. Akaashi’s parents hadn’t even wanted him living in the dorms his freshman year. It was pure luck that he managed to stay in the dorms at the start of this year, too. His parents had looked at apartments in the area and decided that none available were up to their standards. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s an apartment I’ve been keeping my eye on, and the current tenant’s lease ends in two months! We can move you in over your summer break! Your father has already spoken to the school, and your roommate will get the dorm room to himself for the rest of the year! It’s a win-win!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except for the fact that Akaashi would be living in a big apartment alone, feeling just like he did for the entirety of his childhood. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great. Thanks, mom. I’ll let him know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course, Keiji! Make sure you get those grades up!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right. Bye, Mom.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bye, Keiji!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The call ended, and Akaashi put his head in his hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Starlight? You want something with actual alcohol in it? Might help.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t respond. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll make sure you get to your dorm if it affects you much. I mean, Kenma and Bo would both kill me if I didn’t so...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi nodded, not removing his hands from his face. He heard the sound of a chair scooting away from the table followed by footsteps. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Would Kenma be relieved? Akaashi didn’t think he was a bad roommate, but Kenma did seem like the type to appreciate alone time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was good at least, he wouldn’t be leaving someone who would miss him. Although, who would ever miss him? His own parents never spent time around him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Get his grades up. How was he going to do that? He would never be able to beat Oikawa. Oikawa who was doing this as a backup plan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He flinched when a glass was placed in front of him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a cocktail, a greyhound but with less vodka than usual.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi finally removed his hands to grab the drink. It was an odd shade of pink, growing transparent towards the top. He lifted it and downed it, the vodka and sugar burning his tongue and throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wow. Okay. I’m gonna go get you some wat-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Another.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo stayed still for a moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, I’ll bring you another and some water.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">While Kuroo was gone, Akaashi could already feel the alcohol hitting his brain. His concerns about his grades suddenly seemed a lot less pressing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Two glasses were placed in front of him this time, another greyhound and water, as promised. Akaashi started with the alcohol, but drank it slower than he did last time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but I get the sucky parents thing. It’s why Bo’s parents have always been like my own.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My parents aren’t ‘sucky’,” Akaashi bit out. “They just expect a lot. And why shouldn’t they? I’m perfectly capable, aren’t I?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo nodded, more in acknowledgement than agreement. His eyes were more on the level of the water glass, silently urging Akaashi to drink more. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When both glasses were empty, Akaashi asked for another once again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope. I’m getting you to your dorm now.” Kuroo stood again, this time swinging a black messenger bag over his shoulder. Akaashi stood to join him and stumbled, stabilized only by Kuroo’s hand on his arm. “There wasn’t much vodka in those, but you have no tolerance built up. I have half a mind to buy you a bottle of water on the way. Better yet-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo took out his phone with his free hand, sending a message and pocketing it. He guided Akaashi out of the bar, where the cool air shocked his flushed cheeks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why was Kuroo being nice? Surely he had a better way to be spending his Saturday night than dragging his best friend’s drunk crush across campus. And why wasn’t Akaashi talking to him? Kuroo was making an effort, surely he could too. Should he be honest with him? Maybe a little bit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do like Bokuto-san.” Akaashi spoke slowly and carefully, trying to keep the alcohol from muddling his speech. “But I want him to be happy, and I don’t do relationships. I was never able to put enough time into them, and my parents always ended up pressuring them as well.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo was giving him a strange look. He probably wasn’t expecting him to say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re both too nice to me. Even if you’re simultaneously being an asshole.” Kuroo laughed at that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What, you don’t think you’re worth our kindness?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Frankly, I don’t think I’m worth much of anything.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo was quiet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Too honest?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stupid alcohol. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re wrong,” Kuroo finally said. “And Bo’s clearly the best one to show you that. So let him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now Akaashi was definitely the one giving the weird look. Was Kuroo drunk too?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let yourself be happy, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t say anything else. It was too weird now, too weird for Kuroo to be this nice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re here,” Kuroo finally said, stabilizing Akaashi against the wall of the building. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wondered what they were waiting out there for, until he heard the, “Hey hey hey!” from in front of him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bokuto-san...” he muttered. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo? Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Sup, Bo.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you not get my text?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You just said to bring water with the food! I didn’t know why!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, Starlight had some alcohol. He’s a real lightweight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up...” Akaashi mumbled, feeling his eyes sliding closed as he leaned against the building. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No no no, don’t fall asleep!” Bokuto said, rushing over to stand him upright. “Here, Kuroo, hold the food and bottles!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The trio made their way into the building and then the elevator, Bokuto holding Akaashi carefully by the arm and Kuroo holding their dinner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aghaashi! Why did you drink so much so early?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Great, now Kuroo would tell him about the phone call and-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I pushed him to, it’s my fault.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto gave him a look, like he could tell he was lying, but he didn’t say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they got to the dorm room, Kuroo sat everything he was holding down on Akaashi’s desk. Then, he opened his bag and pulled out Akaashi’s textbook, setting it next to the food. He pulled out a one-subject notebook and sat it on top of the textbook. He looked up to make sure Akaashi saw it, then winked at him and left. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See ya at home, Bo.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you doing here?” Kenma asked, finally emerging from his blanket hideout. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I brought the food! And Kuroo brought Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why does Akaashi smell like vodka?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Makes sense.” Kenma then walked over to the food, grabbing a Tupperware container and returning to his bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akaashi? Is it okay if I stay and eat with you? I brought enough for myself, too!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi thought about everything Kuroo had said that night. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto smiled wide at that, and set a Tupperware container in front of each of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A while into the meal, when Bokuto had almost finished and Akaashi was about halfway through, Bokuto’s phone vibrated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, Kuroo’s having a party next Friday! Akaashi, will you go?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. I don’t go to parties.” Bokuto’s smile fell. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akaaaashiii! That’s all the more reason you should go! Everyone needs to experience college parties!” He looked so dejected. Akaashi wanted to fix that, but he really wasn’t a party person. “If Kenma goes, will you go?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi hadn’t seen Kenma leave their dorm room a single time since they moved in. He had no idea when he managed to go to classes. There was no way Kenma would agree to go to a party. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenma, if you go to the party, Kuroo will let you stay in his room and pet Hikari!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Deal.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What just happened?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was sure he’d been tricked, but Bokuto was smiling again, his eyes shining with warmth, and he decided right then that he would never be the one to make Bokuto sad again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yay! See you both there!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto left soon after, and Akaashi found himself missing his presence. Still, he was glad that Kenma was there, even if they didn’t talk. He was glad he wasn’t alone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not yet, at least. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oikawa and Akaashi both have some issues and bad coping mechanisms, but how deep should I delve into that? I don’t want to include anything too triggering if it would bother you guys so lmk!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi woke up with a slight headache. He rubbed at his eyes with his palms as he sat up, then checked his phone with blurry vision. It took a moment for his sight to clear enough to read it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">5:28 am</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> Goodnight Akaashi!!!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighed and got out of bed. If he hadn’t fallen asleep so early, he would have woken up at a normal time. It was a relief that he had time before class, though, since he’d lost his time to work on his Principles of Law assignment thanks to Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Trying to be quiet so as not to wake Kenma, he crept over to his desk and sat down. Right, Kuroo had sat a notebook down on top of it. What was that about?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He flipped through the notebook, and his eyes widened. He whipped open the textbook for comparison. Yes, there was no question. These were notes over the entire section he had been required to read. They were good notes, too. Terms were highlighted, summaries were included, and it was organized by chapter and sub-chapter. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then he got to the end of the journal, where a report was printed and stapled with a note stuck on front. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">You’re lucky Oikawa owed me a favor</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Now you owe me ;)</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi pulled out his phone to text Kuroo, then remembered it was much too early for that. Instead, he settled for reading through the report to make sure it was up to his professor’s standards. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The report was definitely up the the professor’s standards. It was at Oikawa’s level of proficiency, which made sense since it sounded like he’d helped with it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This was all Akaashi had to do for that class for the entire week. And Kuroo had done it for him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi hated asking for help and owing people, but the notes and the report were so perfect that he could hardly find it in himself to be mad. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So he studied the notes, just in case his professor surprised them with a quiz or test that day in class. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He ended up texting Kuroo that afternoon. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>You:</strong> Why did you do my notes and report, Kuroo-san?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He got a response within minutes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> well I did keep you out and get you drunk </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Unknown:</strong> good luck on ur test wed </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi’s mind reminded him that Kuroo had already done this before he planned on giving Akaashi alcohol. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He saved the number. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite the help with his Principles of Law class, Akaashi still had a heavy load of work for his classes, so he didn’t end up messaging Kuroo (or Bokuto, outside of “good morning”s and “good night”s) until Friday. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> HEY HEY HEY AKAASHIIIII R U EXCITED 4 THE PARTY 2NITE</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>You:</strong> No, Bokuto-san </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>You:</strong> You tricked me into agreeing to go, remember?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> ILL MAKE SURE U HAVE FUN! ( </span>
  <span class="s2">・</span>
  <span class="s1">∇</span>
  <span class="s2">・</span>
  <span class="s1">)</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>You:</strong> Okay. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> If u get here around 6 you can b here b4 the crowd!</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> I figured u and Kenma might want to avoid that </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>You:</strong> Okay. I’ll let him know. Thank you, Bokuto-san.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma agreed to get there at the recommended time, and helped Akaashi with his outfit again before they left. Kenma also knew the way to Bokuto and Kuroo’s apartment, which was convenient. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be up behind you. Number 401, right?” Akaashi told Kenma when they reached the lobby. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep. I’ll be in Kuroo’s room, petting his cat.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">While Akaashi washed his hands, he looked at his face in the mirror. So bland. So lifeless. So boring. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Two men walked in, mid-conversation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean, seriously, another party?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s Kuroo, for you. I already told Numai we’d be at his place tonight, that way we can avoid the crowd and noise.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why do we let him kick us out of our own apartment though?! He’s just an idiot and a fuckboy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re one to talk.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s different! He was sleeping with Daishou’s girlfriend! Not just a bunch of girls!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten. Heh.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Idiot and fuckboy. With the moron there too, it’s like the title of their apartment.” With that, the two burst into laughter, and Akaashi found himself angrily shoving the door open and making his exit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why was he feeling so defensive over them? He hardly knew them! He wasn’t very worried about the information about Kuroo. It was a rumor, and if he wanted to confirm its truth, he could ask Kuroo himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still. They called Bokuto a moron. They also called Kuroo an idiot, which was obviously not true, considering the quality of the notes and report he’d completed for Akaashi. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Starlight. Kenma said you were down here.” Kuroo emerged from the elevator as Akaashi approached it. Of course he did. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hello, Kuroo-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi followed Kuroo back into the elevator, and they saw the men from the bathroom emerge before the doors slid closed. Kuroo visibly tensed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo-san? Do you know them?” He looked...scared. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh? Nah, not really. I used to be...familiar with a friend of theirs.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Daishou?” It was a bit entertaining to see Kuroo’s eyes widen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did they talk to you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, they talked near me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“About what?” Okay, this was getting less entertaining. Kuroo was a step away from trembling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing I’m sure I believe,” Akaashi answered carefully. Kuroo responded with an evaluating glance that turned into something Akaashi couldn’t interpret. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thankfully, the elevator doors opened to the fourth floor before Akaashi could grow more tense under the gaze. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi followed Kuroo through door 401, where he was immediately greeted by a familiar, loud voice calling, “AKAAASHIII!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hello, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“People will start getting here in about an hour! Do you wanna help set stuff up?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Apparently, no one was allowed to touch the liquor besides Kuroo, who would be mixing drinks all night. There was a cooler next to his little bar full of beer, though. Akaashi helped Bokuto pour chips into bowls and set up dips and other snacks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was going to make cookies, but Kuroo said I wasn’t allowed to use the oven.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why’s that?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Cause he’s a <em>jerk</em>!” Bokuto pouted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Or possibly because you set off the smoke alarms?” Kuroo suggested, poking his head into the small kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well it’s not like I started an actual fire!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi rolled his eyes, a fond smile pulling at his lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unfortunately, the moment didn’t last long, since guests started filing into the small apartment. Soon, music blasted through the air and sweaty bodies mingled as Akaashi tried to avoid them all in the kitchen. He was staring out at the crowd, watching people attempt to hold conversations over the music, when there was a hand on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you okay?” Bokuto asked, and then he seemed to suddenly notice that his hand was on Akaashi and promptly removed it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m fine, Bokuto-san. It’s just like I told you, I don’t go to parties.” Bokuto only looked at him for a moment, and Akaashi thought maybe he hadn’t heard him over the music, but then he started to grin much too similarly to Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve never been to a party before, have you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not unless you count banquets.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What about birthday parties?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think you mean birthday banquets,” Akaashi grumbled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll throw you a real birthday party this December!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi started to smile, before he remembered that Bokuto would probably tire of him before December. After he moved out, he wouldn’t have the connection to them through Kenma. Nothing would be pushing him to keep in contact. Akaashi’s parents would probably show up at some point and make themselves known, and that would be the end of it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, he would probably manage to push Bokuto away before his parents even visited to move him into that apartment. A big, empty apartment where he could spend all of his time studying law alone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akaashi? Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What did it matter? He didn’t need people. He’d always been alone, and he would continue to be alone. He would follow this boring path set for him and make his parents proud, eventually. They’d tell him they were proud of him when he beat Oikawa, right? When he aced his Principles of Law class? Maybe when he graduated? Or when he was finally hired at a large firm?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“AKAASHI!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh? Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you need alcohol? Kuroo can make something for you!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.” No alcohol for nineteen years and suddenly accepting the offer twice within a week. He must be devolving. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto grabbed his hand (which definitely did not make him blush) to guide him to Kuroo’s makeshift bar, which was really a card table with an assortment of liquor bottles, among other ingredients, displayed across its surface. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you need a refreshment or a <em>refreshment</em>?” Kuroo asked, sporting his trademark smirk that made Akaashi itch to smack him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The latter,” he answered, and he saw Kuroo’s eyes display a moment of concern. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hm. One mudslide, coming right up!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo turned around, grabbing a bottle as he poured things into the blender on the kitchen counter. He drizzled chocolate on the interior of a glass, then poured the blended mixture into it, topping it with whipped cream and chocolate shavings, and placing a straw inside before he handed it to Akaashi. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Enjoy, Starlight!” he called with a wink, and Akaashi walked away, Bokuto following right behind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A few sips in, Akaashi realized that if he could filter the vodka out, the drink would almost taste like a frosted Mocha Macchiato, but with too much cream. It was definitely sweeter than his usual coffee order, but there was the distinct taste of espresso mingling with chocolate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bokuto-san, did you tell Kuroo-san my coffee order?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hm? I don’t think so. Maybe? I can’t remember. Sorry, ‘Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, it’s alright. I was just curious.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By the time he finished the drink, his thoughts had slowed considerably. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akaashi? Do you feel better now?” Bokuto asked, biting at his nails. Did Akaashi make him worry? That wasn’t supposed to happen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thought tapered off into neutrality. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m fine, Bokuto-san. Thank you.” He was still worrying too much about what Bokuto thought. “I’m going to go get something else to drink.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo had a line now, so Akaashi reached into the cooler for a beer, where his hand collided with another. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whoops! Oh, hiya Pretty-kun!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa-san. Hello.” Oikawa was wearing a short-sleeved button up with one too many buttons undone. A man with dark, spiked hair stood behind him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Iwaizumi Hajime,” he introduced himself. Oh, Iwa-chan.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akaashi Keiji.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nice to meet you. Sorry about the nickname, this dumbass gives so many I’ve been considering typing them into the notes of my phone.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi almost chuckled at that, but Oikawa reached around to lightly smack his friend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So mean to me!” he whined as he draped his arms around him. Okay, maybe not friend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi grabbed a beer and left, opening it on his way back to Bokuto. When he took a sip, he grimaced at the sour taste. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto seemed to be entertained by his reaction. “You’ve been spoiled by Kuroo’s genius until now, huh?” Akaashi’s mind returned to the notebook on his desk with the notes and assignment completed by Kuroo, which was all the incentive he needed to take another large drink. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had almost made it through the bottle when someone called his name. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akaashi? Is that you?” He turned to see a familiar head of sandy hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Konoha. It’s been a while.” Oh, he would definitely need more alcohol for this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Kaashi? Who’s this?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Konoha Akinori. An old friend.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey! You’re Bokuto, right? From the volleyball team?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! You know Akaashi?” Bokuto was shooting down a chance to talk about volleyball in favor of talking about <em>him</em>. Even slightly inebriated, Akaashi was well aware.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We knew each other in high school,” Akaashi answered before Konoha could. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! We talked a lot before you dropped off the grid, man! I had no idea you ended up going here too!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I’m sorry</em>, Akaashi wanted to say. “Small world,” he said instead. “I’m sorry, Bokuto-san, I think I should go find Kenma. I haven’t seen him all evening.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wasn’t sure if Bokuto could tell he was searching for an escape or genuinely thought he was concerned about Kenma, but either way, he was helpful. “Right! Our bedrooms are down that little hallway!” He instructed, pointing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was thankful that the music grew softer as he entered the hallway, since it kept his appearing headache from worsening. It also allowed him to hear voices from behind one of the closed doors. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So why did you leave?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I shouldn’t have gone downstairs.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Didn’t answer my question, but okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This was a terrible idea.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yours usually are.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m such an idiot.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you’re waiting for me to disagree with you, it’s not going to happen.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You could tell me what to do! You usually love that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, it’s not an easy situation.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This was definitely a conversation between Kuroo and Kenma that Akaashi should not be hearing, so he knocked on the door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When it opened, he was greeted by a panic-stricken Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Starlight? What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was just looking for Kenma.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right,” he agreed without agreeing. “Well, petting cats helps with stress, and Hikari happens to be a great one. Kenma can attest.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi looked into the room at Kenma, who had a black cat in his arms as he sat on Kuroo’s bed. Kenma nodded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can I sit?” Akaashi asked, stepping into the room. Kenma nodded again, and Kuroo started to leave. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right. Well I’ll...I’ll see you later, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sure you will.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: mention of throwing up</p><p>Oikawa has bad coping skills </p><p>Akaashi’s depression comes with a poor sense of time, which is why he can spend hours somewhere and feel like hardly any time passed.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">”The relief of giving in to destruction.”</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-Franz Kafka</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>
Kenma looked Akaashi up and down, and he suddenly felt like a specimen under a microscope. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Something happened. You’re escaping from someone. And you smell like beer. Gross.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry. Old friend.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ex-friend?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My parents encouraged me to leave some people behind. He was one of them.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm.” Kenma grabbed Akaashi’s arm and guided his hand down to pet Hikari. “Kuro wasn’t kidding. It’s calming.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wasn’t sure if it was the soft fur or the alcohol that had more of an effect on his nerves, but he also felt like Kenma’s presence had something to do with it. His roommate was odd, but he was also serene and quiet, which was perfect for Akaashi’s racing thoughts. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t leave Koutarou alone forever.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma was right. He’d left Bokuto with Konoha to avoid...what was he avoiding? Apologizing? His parents weren’t there to dictate his friends anymore. He didn’t have to stay away from Konoha. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Kenma.” With that, Akaashi stood and left the bedroom, turning towards the noise of the party. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The cat-petting break had helped to clear his head significantly, though it was still muddled by alcohol. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he found Bokuto, he was surprised to see that he was not only still talking to Konoha, but Kuroo had joined them as well. When Bokuto looked up and saw him, he waved him over enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Starlight, did you know this guy’s nickname in high school was ‘Jack of all trades’?” Kuroo laughed out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course I did. I was there.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jack of all trades, master of none,” Konoha grumbled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But better than a master of one,” Akaashi added, remembering the completed idioms he’d seen. The other three men gave him strange looks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I’ve heard some of those! The idioms that were cut short!” Konoha said, smiling now, and Akaashi felt like he’d done something right. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back,” Kuroo grinned. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve heard ‘blood of the oven mitt is thicker than water of the room’ but I didn’t know what it meant,” Bokuto pouted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Blood of the covenant and water of the womb, Bo,” Kuroo corrected. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think I’m even more confused now.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bokuto-san, it means that the bonds you make are stronger than familial bonds.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, hey, that makes me think of you, ‘Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi could see that Kuroo, and even Konoha, were shooting Bokuto looks of “shut up”. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, thus far, the opposite has been true for me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Exactly! It’s like...advice for you!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese,” Kuroo said, clearly trying to distract Bokuto from Akaashi, for which he was grateful. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Birds of a feather flock together, until the cat comes,” Konoha added, looking around at the other three. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great minds think alike, but fools rarely differ,” Akaashi offered, looking pointedly at Bokuto and Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ouch!” Kuroo huffed, putting a hand to his heart and clutching at his shirt. Bokuto only smiled warmly at Akaashi.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he looked away from his little group, he realized that the crowd was beginning to thin out as guests left for the night. He looked at the clock near the kitchen and saw that it was just past midnight. He’d been here over six hours. How long did he spend petting Hikari?! When he looked back at the group, he saw that Konoha had been looking at the clock as well. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’d better head out if I don’t want to be murdered on my way home. It was nice seeing you, Akaashi,” he said as he turned to leave. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Konoha, wait.” He turned and looked back at Akaashi, surprise showing in his eyes. “I’m sorry. For leaving, for just disappearing.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s alright, Akaashi. I know your parents have a big influence over you. It’s not your fault.” Akaashi started to try to tell him that it was, in fact, his fault for listening to his parents, that when he reached adulthood he could have started making his own decisions, but Konoha kept speaking. “Besides, I gave those two my number, so I’m sure we’ll be hanging out. See ya soon, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bye, Konoha.” He watched his old friend disappear through the door, then turned to see Bokuto smiling giddily at him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re smiling! You looked all sad and serious even with the drinks, but now you’re smiling!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto’s attitude, of course, only made him smile more. Bokuto wrapped him in a tight hug that lifted his feet just slightly off of the ground. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Kaashi, will you dance with me before everyone else leaves?” His large, golden eyes were so pleading, Akaashi’s will didn’t stand a chance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi dancing primarily consisted of smiling at Bokuto’s antics while lazily mirroring his actions. It wasn’t that he was lazy, but the amount of alcohol he’d had was not enough to loosen him up to the point of freely dancing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t long before almost all of the faces left in the apartment were familiar; Oikawa and Iwaizumi were still present, as were Sugawara and some others from the 3v3. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey! Hey! Akaashi!” Bokuto called, now dragging a tall blond boy over. He was scowling, a sharp contrast to Bokuto’s grin, which only seemed to have widened with his alcohol intake. “This is Tsukki!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s Tsukishima.” Akaashi couldn’t tell if he was introducing himself or correcting Bokuto. He could tell that he was definitely completely sober, though. Bokuto seemed to pick up on that, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why didn’t you drink, Tsukki-dude?” Tsukishima let out a long sigh before he answered. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m driving Tadashi and his friend home.” He pointed to two people behind him, the boy who was with him for the 3v3 and a small blonde girl. “And honestly, call me by my name you idiot.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi tensed when Bokuto was insulted, but it seemed to be friendly banter, and while he knew he wasn’t an idiot, Akaashi couldn’t argue that he could already tell Bokuto wasn’t the best with names. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Tsukishima looked at Akaashi again, he seemed to realize that he’d seen him before. “How did you get that poor soul you attacked to agree to come to your house?” He then turned to Akaashi to inquire, “Aren’t you worried he’s going to murder you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, I’m more concerned about Kuroo-san in that respect,” he answered without a thought. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hm.” Tsukishima’s lip twitched upwards, which was the closest Akaashi had seen to the boy smiling. “Well, Tadashi is tired, so I’m taking those two home. Bye.” The blond walked off without a backwards glance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“SHITTYKAWA, I TOLD YOU!” someone yelled from near the couch. Akaashi went to investigate, and found Iwaizumi fuming, Oikawa puking, and Sugawara holding a bucket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Iwaaaa!” Oikawa whined from his position on the couch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh! Akaashi!” Sugawara greeted when he saw him. “Could you get some water for Tooru? I need to keep holding this, and he won’t let Iwaizumi leave.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.” Akaashi returned to Bokuto and asked if they had bottled water. Bokuto returned a few moments later with three bottles and followed Akaashi back to the couch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tooru, will you drink some water?” Sugawara asked gently, holding a bottle up to him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Iwa-chan...” he drawled. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tooru, it’s Koushi. You’re drunk, will you have some water?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Iwa-chan, I want to play again,” he mumbled, and promptly broke into tears. “Let me play again!” Iwaizumi looked like he might cry, too. He crouched down next to Sugawara, suddenly much more docile than he had been mere moments ago. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tooru?” he asked softly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Iwa-chan, please,” Oikawa sniffled. “I’ll be careful this time. Just let me set for you again!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t, Tooru. I’m sorry. No running and no jumping, you know that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I could stand still! I could stand still and set Iwa!” Iwaizumi let out a heavy sigh, and Akaashi noticed some tears on his face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll talk about this when you’re sober, Tooru.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa nodded sloppily and seemed to be starting to fall asleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was odd for Akaashi to see Oikawa like this. He was always so put-together and capable. Now, sprawled across the couch, he was...a mess. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Woah. What happened to Oiks?” Kuroo asked from behind them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The usual,” Iwaizumi huffed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Right. You staying there then?” Kuroo asked, gesturing to his position on the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. I need to be here when he wakes up.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll get the futon!” Bokuto called out, hurrying towards what must have been a closet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait, Bo, I thought you were gonna use it?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh! Right!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll be fine with a blanket,” Iwaizumi insisted, grabbing a throw pillow from near Oikawa’s feet. Bokuto returned, carrying a blanket and dragging a futon. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dai’s here to pick me up. If you guys are all okay, I guess I’ll probably see you next time you visit the cafe,” Sugawara said, smiling sadly at Tooru before making his way to the exit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I need to finish packing up the alcohol. Kenma’s probably already asleep in my bed,” Kuroo said, returning to his makeshift bar. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Kaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can sleep in my bed. That’s why I got the futon. I was gonna put it in my room, but if you want me to stay out here, that’s fine too, so just-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s fine, Bokuto-san. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather sleep in your own bed and have me take the futon, though?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Very sure!” he insisted, smiling wide. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto’s room was about what Akaashi expected, covered in volleyball paraphernalia for teams such as the Black Jackals and the Sendai Frogs. There were also a couple with owls, their feathers much too similar to Bokuto’s iconic hairstyle. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi pondered this similarity as he lay in Bokuto’s bed, staring at the ceiling. He knew that Bokuto was doing the same thing beside him on the futon. Had he dyed his hair to imitate an owl? Did it just turn out that way? Did he like owls because they reminded him of himself? Akaashi had always liked owls. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He spent so much time thinking that he didn’t notice when he started to slip off to sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He only realized he’d fallen asleep when he awoke, confused to not be in his dorm. Then, he turned to his left and saw Bokuto still asleep on the futon beside him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked peaceful like that. He was always so loud and full of energy. It was a great contrast, but the way his mouth hung open, the way he clutched a pillow in his arms, were still remarkably him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t notice his hangover until he sat up and felt the headache spike through his skull. It wasn’t so bad that it made him feel like he needed to throw up, but it wasn’t enjoyable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He left the room on unsteady feet, being as quiet as possible so that Bokuto could sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The smell of coffee wafted in to the hallway from the kitchen, and Akaashi followed it to find Kuroo at the coffeemaker. When he turned and saw him, he lifted a finger to indicate silence and pointed towards the couch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa was still sprawled across the couch, one of his arms hanging off of the side. Iwaizumi was still on the floor, one of his hands entangled in Oikawa’s that hung near him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A tap on his shoulder brought his attention back to Kuroo, who had poured coffee into two mugs. He lifted cream and chocolate drizzle, a silent question. Akaashi nodded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When his drink was complete, Kuroo handed him the mug, and gestured to the apartment door with his head. Another nod, and they left, standing in the hallway. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How is Kenma?” Akaashi asked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Still out. The party probably drained him, even if he didn’t have to talk to anyone.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi nodded in understanding. “How did you know to make this for me?” he asked, lifting his coffee mug for clarification. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You mean how did I know you’d be awake soon and want coffee, or how did I know you’d want cream and chocolate?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Both.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, the first one was really luck, but coffee helps with a hangover if you don’t want to make a disgusting cure. As for the second, it was really a guess based on the fact you seemed to enjoy the mudslide.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So that was a total guess?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorta. It just seemed to suit you,” Kuroo shrugged. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Didn’t you guys end the party fairly early?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We always start and end early if Kenma’s coming. The less people passed out around here, the better for him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo being considerate was still odd to Akaashi. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then, his phone rang, and Kuroo gave him that look and knowing smirk, indicating that he would not be stepping inside for Akaashi to take his call. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was his father this time. Because the universe needed to cover its bases. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hello?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah, Keiji. Your mother sent you the files on the apartment, I assume?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Probably sometime last night. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, sir, but I haven’t had a chance to look over them just yet.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s nearly ten in the morning! Nevermind, look at them right away. I have other news.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You do?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes! The Haiba girl, Alisa, you know, the model?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, father.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She publicly announced the end of her relationship with that Sakusa boy just last night!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Probably because he’s gay as well</em>, Akaashi thought. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How sad.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And fortunate for us. We’ll wait a couple of months. About the time you move into your apartment, we’ll reach out to them and arrange a dinner.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course they would. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, father.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good bye, Keiji. I’ll call again soon.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bye, father.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His fingers trembled as he hit End Call, and his mug fell from his grasp. Kuroo managed to catch it, and thanks to the fact that it was nearly empty, it didn’t even spill. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You okay, Starlight?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wanted to nod, to keep people from needlessly worrying about him, but his head wouldn’t move. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At the end of the semester, he would be living alone again and being set up on dates with a girl. His parents would be controlling every aspect of his life once again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto would probably be hurt when he found out, and then the rest of his friends would hate Akaashi, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It would all be over. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” Kuroo said, a hand on Akaashi’s upper arm. “You know what it takes to make a star shine?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi looked up at him with narrowed eyes, trying to be irritated through the choking feeling in his throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A shitload of darkness,” Kuroo finished. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Huh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi managed to compose himself enough to roll his eyes, which made Kuroo snort. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, I’m hungover too. My metaphors aren’t the best right now. Come on,” he said, guiding Akaashi back into the apartment. “I’m sure Bokuto can make you feel better.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I tried to support the idea of Bokuto being kind of dumb but also wise, with him not knowing what the idiom meant but then immediately connecting it to Akaashi’s life.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I could rly make this a bit darker with the effects of Oikawa and Akaashi’s mental illnesses, but would you guys be ok with that?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">“You’re the only person I’ve ever met who seems to have the faintest conception of what I mean when I say a thing.”</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-Virginia Woolf</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>Akaashi had been surprised by Oikawa every conversation he had with him. Saturday morning was no different, as he sat with him on the couch waiting for Bokuto to wake up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I want him to play again, even if I can’t,” he told him, and Akaashi couldn’t believe that they were having this conversation despite the fact Oikawa didn’t remember a single thing he said last night. “It was his thing, too. It’s not fair, not to him. I mean, it wasn’t fair that I got hurt, either, but still. It’s my fault it got this bad.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I would have recovered just fine if I could have taken the two months off. I figured six weeks was close enough, and it might have been, if I didn’t immediately go back to my normal regimen. Well, my normal pre-tournament regimen. I pushed too hard, and I made it worse. He’s always telling me not to push myself too much.” He was tearing up now, and Akaashi wished he had any idea how to comfort someone. “If I would have listened to him, maybe we could both be happy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wanted to tell him that they could still be happy, but considering his own constant state of emotional neutrality, he figured that wasn’t something he could honestly say. Instead, he settled for placing a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder in what was hopefully a comforting gesture. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally, the awkwardness of the situation was broken when Kuroo and Iwaizumi returned, having taken bags of trash out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa, ready to go?” the latter asked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure!” Oikawa shifted his face from the honest expression Akaashi had been watching to a forced smile. Iwaizumi returned it, equally forced. The pair left, and Akaashi watched the door close behind them, something like sympathy bubbling in his chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Feeling better?” Kuroo asked. Akaashi shrugged. “Well, I was hoping you would be comforted by Bo’s heedless optimism, not further depressed by Oikawa’s sob story,” he said, the last part sounding more empathetic than it should have. “Speaking of,” he continued, looking down the hall to their rooms, “he should be awake by now. Sometimes he pretends he’s still out while I clean up, but then he manages to be out of his room as soon as I finish. He’s not good at staying cooped up.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can tell.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo’s expression morphed from mildly concerned to panicked as his eyes widened. “What day is it?!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Saturday?” Akaashi checked his phone to elaborate. “April tenth.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit!” Kuroo hissed, running towards the doors. Akaashi heard a soft “Bo?” from his place on the couch, where he was still trying to decide if it was his place to join. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo returned while he was still contemplating, running a hand through his signature rooster hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s bad. It’s really bad. I asked if he wanted to go outside, and he just groaned. He always wants to go outside, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What happened?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Grades were posted for his anatomy test. It didn’t go well, evidently. Shit, I totally forgot those were going up today.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi rose from his place on the couch and strode past Kuroo to Bokuto’s doorway. He knocked softly on the doorframe. “Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmmph?” Only the frosted tips of his hair were visible from under his blanket. He hadn’t moved from the futon. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can I come in?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There wasn’t even a noise of response this time, but the movement of the hair indicated that Bokuto had nodded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi sat gingerly on the edge of the futon and placed a hand on Bokuto’s arm. He gently dragged it up and down. “Do you want to get out of bed?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No response. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi looked at the posters around the room. “Say, Bokuto-san? Did you know that I played volleyball for a little while in high school?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That got a reaction. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto lifted his head so that his wide eyes were visible above the edge of the blanket, staring in wonder at Akaashi. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I haven’t played in years, but I’d be willing to give it a try if I could set for you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto’s eyes seemed to be shining now, but he still didn’t give a verbal response. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The offer is only available today, Bokuto-san. Would you like to play volleyball with me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto immediately say the rest of the way up, the blanket falling into his lap, and nodded vigorously. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on, then. I’ll need to borrow clothes, as well. I don’t own athletic clothing anymore.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We can go shopping later!” Bokuto yelled, and Akaashi internally celebrated his victory of getting a verbal response. “You can borrow something of mine for now!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hurry, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said as he stood. Bokuto obeyed, hurrying to his closet to find two sets of athletic clothes. Akaashi waited in the hall, where he found Kuroo, wearing a shocked and confused expression that certainly did not suit him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How did you do that?!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do what?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s up and moving!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, I can see that, Kuroo-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s going to play volleyball.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Kuroo-san, I invited him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t understand how big a deal this is.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Clearly.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto emerged from his closet, proudly holding out one set of clothes, the other held to his chest, and Akaashi took them to change. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll explain later,” Kuroo said, as he went to change himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi changed in the bathroom. Bokuto’s clothes weren’t too large on him; the only noticeable size difference was in the shirt, which Akaashi concluded he must have stretched out with the width of his shoulders, since the length was just fine. He then realized he’d spent too long thinking about Bokuto’s shoulders and promptly turned his train of thought away from him. This, however, meant dwelling on his parents, and his mom forcing an apartment on him while his dad tried to get him a girlfriend. He felt like he was being assaulted from both sides, and there was nothing he could do about it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he opened the door, Bokuto was right there waiting for him, smiling a lot smaller than usual, but smiling nonetheless. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aghaaashiii! Let’s go!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenma?” Kuroo called into his own room, also now clad in a t-shirt and athletic shorts. “Will you come for a 2v2?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma slunk out of the room to look Kuroo in the eyes and say “no”.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cmon, Kyanma! I need a setter!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma put his hand in Kuroo’s pocket and pulled out a phone. He tapped on it for a moment, before handing it back to its owner. “There. Now you have a setter.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenmaaa! Suga? Really? I love the guy, but why won’t you set for me?” he asked with a petulant pout. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Be glad I didn’t comb your contacts for the Miya setter,” Kenma said as he returned to Kuroo’s room, obviously not planning on joining them, but Kuroo caught him by the hood of his hoodie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not so fast! If you’re not setting, you can keep score!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine. But don’t complain when Akaashi’s team always wins.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How many sets were they planning on playing?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo let out a loud laugh and ruffled Kenma’s hair, earning him a scowl in return. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The group left the apartment, Kuroo in the lead making teasing comments towards Kenma, and Akaashi hanging back with Bokuto. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He seemed happier than he had been, but Akaashi could tell that his test score was still weighing on his mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hm?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know a lot about flowers, correct?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Would you mind telling me about them?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto looked up at him, eyes shining like he wasn’t sure Akaashi really wanted him to speak. “What do you wanna know?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi thought for a moment. “Do you know anything about meanings behind flowers?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh! Like Victor’s Flower Language?” Resisting the urge to correct him, Akaashi nodded. “Yeah! So some different types of flowers have different meanings, like daisies mean innocence or hope. Some flowers have different meanings based on color, though. Ooh, like hyacinths!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi nodded and smiled, to indicate he was still listening. Bokuto seemed to be shedding his self doubt as he talked about his interest, and this was more interesting than having him recite volleyball facts he already knew. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“White hyacinths mean loveliness, or sometimes prayers for someone? Sometimes they have a couple that they mean, but they’re usually pretty similar. Oh, but purple hyacinths mean sorrow, so you wouldn’t want to get those mixed up. Blue means...constancy? I think? And then yellow hyacinths mean jealousy! Yeah, so they’re all hyacinths but they all mean different things!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Interesting, Bokuto-san. You know a lot about that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, it’s easy for me to learn things when they’re interesting! Roses are different by color, too! Red roses mean love, but yellow roses mean friendship!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You must be very interested in flowers to learn this much about them.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! It helps at my job, too!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have a job?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep! Tsukki’s boy Yams got me a job at the flower shop before they even graduated high school!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Interesting.” After a moment, he added, “I’d like a job.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really? Aren’t you, like, rich?” Akaashi grimaced. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My parents are rich. I’d like to earn my own money.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto made a noise of understanding. “You should talk to Tsukki! That’s what I did when I wanted a job!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi nodded, though he was not at all planning on actually getting a job. It would be nice if it were practical, but he was already pushing his schedule to allow time for Bokuto, and he still had yet to figure out why. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re here!” Kuroo called from in front of them as they arrived at the park. Akaashi stepped onto one side of the sandy court with Bokuto, while Kuroo waited on the other, and Kenma sat on the bench Akaashi had been sitting on when he first watched them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenma!” Sugawara called from near the entrance. “I didn’t get to see you at the party!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma nodded, eyes glued to his PSP. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sugaaa, no greeting for us?” Kuroo pouted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get ready, Kuroo. Do you want to win or not?” Sugawara joined Kuroo on his side of the net, and Akaashi grew nervous. He’d suggested this to help Bokuto’s mood, but it had been years since he’d played, and if he couldn’t set well, Bokuto wouldn’t be able to perform well, and this could backfire. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Kaashi? You ready?” Akaashi gave a short nod, and the ball was in the air. Sugawara set it to Kuroo, who shot it down near the back corner, but Bokuto got under it in time. “Send it up, Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi’s first thought was, well, obviously, but then he realized, Bokuto wasn’t just saying that, he was asking for a high set. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He situated himself under the ball and readied his hands. Just like riding a bike. He was right, evidently, since the high set collided perfectly with Bokuto’s palm. They weren’t safe yet, though, since Kuroo managed to dive and receive it. Sugawara set it up for him again, he spiked, Bokuto received, and it was up to Akaashi again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Again!” Bokuto called, and Akaashi got under the ball again. However, instead of sending Bokuto a high set again, he tipped the ball over the edge of the net. Kuroo looked over from where he was blocking Bokuto, slightly shocked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The ball hit the ground. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey hey heyyy! That’s my Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nicely done, Starlight.” Kuroo’s eyes were gleaming, and Akaashi could feel himself being analyzed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto and Akaashi managed to win the set, but it was close, since Akaashi was rusty with his receives and blocks. Bokuto was finally back to his cheerful self, smiling and yelling and making everyone around him smile, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Akashiii! Aghaashi! Can I hug you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re very sweaty, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please? We won! You were awesome! We’ve gotta celebrate the victory!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rather than pointing out that it was only one set that they won, Akaashi nodded, and was immediately lifted off of the ground. Bokuto was so...warm. Being held by him made Akaashi feel different than he had in a long time, possibly ever. He didn’t know what to call the new feeling, just that it was good. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They lost the next set, but Bokuto was back to himself, so Akaashi didn’t mind. It wasn’t surprising, after all, considering he had the benefit of surprise for the first set. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then, Sugawara had to leave for a shift at the cafe, so they decided to head home. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Didja have fun, ‘Kaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Bokuto-san. I hadn’t played in a long time. I think I missed it.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why did you quit? If you enjoyed it, I mean.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We weren’t successful enough for my parents to deem it a productive activity. They preferred I spend my third year studying.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You let them take away something important to you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t the first time, or the last. But Akaashi wasn’t going to say that and send Bokuto back into his dreary mood, so he shrugged instead. He was worried Bokuto would keep asking, but luckily, they arrived at the street corner where they had to split up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll bring your clothes over later tonight, okay, ‘Kaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure. Thank you, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bye, ‘Kaashi! Bye, Kenma!” he said, waving wildly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See ya, Kenma. Don’t study too hard, Starlight. And maybe try to make sure this one gets some sleep?” Kuroo said, a hand on Kenma’s head. Kenma was scowling, but Akaashi nodded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, you like Koutarou?” Kenma’s soft voice asked while they walked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm. I suppose I might.” It was something he hadn’t quite admitted to himself, so he wasn’t prepared to fully admit it to Kenma, though he knew the feelings were there. Bokuto made him feel warm. And free. It was as though he had been some celestial body shooting through space on the path his parents set for him, but now Bokuto was pulling him into his orbit, bright sun that he was, just like Kuroo had warned. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Akaashi was inclined to let it happen. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sooo I may or may not have realized while writing this that I was essentially giving Bokuto ADHD so I may be adding that as a tag </p><p>I actually wrote this over a few days. Is this how normal people write? Over time? Not in random bursts of motivation at 3am?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some happy and some sad! First term is about halfway over now!</p><p>Also! I realized some consistencies between Bokuto and my dyslexic sibling (while the ADHD is based on myself), such as his difficulty with names, so I included a bit of that in this chapter! Any typos in Bokuto’s messages are on purpose! (By me, not him)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This took a while to get out thanks to a trip, my apologies! However, thanks to school, updates will most likely go from every 1-2 days to every 3-4 days.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">“But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o’clock in the morning.”</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-Haruki Murakami</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>Akaashi had forgotten what feeling was like. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d made himself numb back in high school, feeling nothing as his parents pushed him from activity to activity, away from friends and interests. He’d forgotten how emotions could be a pendulum. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The upswing was amazing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto texted him every morning and night, and he, most times, replied. Akaashi was fairly busy during the week, but that Friday night, they went on their first official date. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto sat at the table of the restaurant, a short bus drive from campus, looking up at him with those adoring eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hello, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Kaashi! You look gorgeous!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The comment reminded Akaashi that he was wearing a navy sweater, exactly what Oikawa had recommended. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you. You look nice, as well.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Throughout dinner, Akaashi would find Bokuto looking at him with this adoring look in his eyes, something he wasn’t worthy of. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you do when you’re not doing school stuff?” Bokuto asked him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Texting you, usually. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I used to read in my free time. Now, I have a lot of reading for school, so I don’t really have time to read for fun.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh cool! That fits you, I think.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How so?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I dunno. You’re quiet and smart? It’s like...the kind of hobby people like me couldn’t have.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“People like you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dumb people? ‘Cause I’ve never been great at reading when it was assigned. It was hard to focus and letters got all jumbled...” Bokuto muttered. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not dumb, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” That didn’t seem to help, so Akaashi elaborated. “That’s neurodivergency. You’re not dumb, your brain just functions differently. Don’t insult yourself.” It sounded like dyslexia, or perhaps ADHD, but Akaashi didn’t know very much about psychiatry, so he wasn’t about to make a diagnosis. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto smiled at him, his face smushed by the fist he was resting it on. “You’re so nice, ‘Kaashi.” The smile slipped, which made his face seem to mash further into his hand. “It makes me sad that you’re not happy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi must have looked shocked, or maybe offended, because Bokuto immediately backtracked. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you upset! I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m sorry, we’re finally on a date and I ruined it and-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s further proof that you shouldn’t call yourself dumb. You’re very emotionally intelligent.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto blushed, but his brows were still knit in confusion. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It took me a long time to realize myself that I wasn’t happy.” Bokuto was still frowning, but he returned his head to his hand. “You know, Bokuto-san, I think I am happy sometimes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. I think I’m happy when I’m with you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto startled at that, staring at Akaashi with red spreading all the way to his ears. He stayed silent, which was odd for him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry,” Akaashi immediately backpedaled, “I didn’t mean-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No! No, I just- that was- ‘Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I...what?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s just- it’s the best news I’ve heard in forever!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then, it was Akaashi’s turn to blush. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On their walk home, Bokuto revealed some details about himself, namely his brain. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I got diagnosed with ADHD my second year of grade school, and then dyslexia in my third. Took me forever to learn how to say it right,” he added, chuckling. “It was kinda hard to make friends, since everyone said I was too much, but this guy Komi stuck by me through middle school. He went to a different high school, though. Then I met Kuroo, and he told me I was a half blood, which I didn’t understand, and then he clarified by saying ‘demigod’ which I thought sounded awesome!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi smiled and filed “Kuroo-san is a nerd” into his mental notes on the group. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He told me about Percy Jackson and Kenma found audiobooks in Japanese, and then we figured out that I can pay attention to them if I listen while playing around with a volleyball!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi could imagine that, Bokuto tossing a volleyball with Kuroo while Percy Jackson was being read in the background. It was a nice scene, and he filed it in “Things to Imagine When Sad”.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We went through a couple other series’ after that, oh! I liked Harry Potter, too! It was a little hard to follow, though. What’s your favorite book, ‘Kaashi?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi thought for a moment, fiddling with his hands in front of him. “Norwegian Wood. Haruki Murakami is an excellent author, and I liked the song before I knew English.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cool! I’ve never heard the song.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll send you a link.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They arrived at Akaashi’s dorm room, and didn’t seem to want to part. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Kaashi? Would it be okay if I kissed you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to say no, to keep some sort of boundary, to keep himself from caring too much. He hadn’t cared about something in so long. It was scary. He couldn’t say no, though, not when Bokuto was looking at him like that, a little scared but so hopeful; he was always so hopeful. He nodded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto was slow and careful, holding Akaashi’s face between his warm hands, and Akaashi could feel his eyes checking his own for any signs of hesitation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto’s lips finally touched his own, and it struck Akaashi as he took in the warmth that this was his first kiss with a boy. He supposed this was what happened when you shut off your emotions in high school, avoiding any sort of romance. There had been a girl in his last year of middle school, who unfortunately primarily served to prove that he was gay. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This was different, nice, safe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Bokuto pulled back, they were both smiling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good night, Akaashi! I’ll text you! Can we do this again next Friday?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi nodded and waved as Bokuto practically skipped down the hallway, obviously feeling a more energetic version of the euphoria currently coursing through him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the room, Kenma was laying on top of his covers, phone in hand. He gave Akaashi a knowing smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next day, Oikawa and Akaashi worked on their presentation for PoliSci. Everything seemed to go smoother with Oikawa there, which Akaashi found odd considering how much of a mess he clearly was. Oikawa also offered to help with classwork for their major whenever Akaashi needed it, and he hesitantly accepted, not wanting help but recognizing that he needed it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, I hear your date with Kou-chan went well!” Oikawa said, and Akaashi found he was not irritated. In fact, he was surprised Oikawa hadn’t brought it up sooner. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. I find I quite enjoy my time with Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa smiled wide, encouraging Akaashi to speak more on this, but Akaashi turned his attention back to their project, ignoring his classmate’s pout. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next few weeks followed this pattern, weekdays a little easier thanks to Oikawa’s help on Saturdays, and Fridays were spent on dates with Bokuto. They went to more dinners, the movies, and the park where they met. One thing, however, was missing, weighing a bit on the back of Akaashi’s mind. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kuroo hadn’t texted him at all. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d gone from incessant annoyances about Bokuto to being considerate to full radio silence. He knew that he was fine, otherwise Kenma and Bokuto would have told him, but it was still odd and a little concerning. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t want to admit that he found himself missing him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still, thanks to Bokuto, he was finally happy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then came the downswing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pendulum fell back to earth at full force, and Akaashi found he didn’t know the reason. There was one reason, but it was more of a circumstance than a cause, and for some reason, that made the low feeling even worse. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma was gone, a trip to visit family in Miyagi with Hinata, who Akaashi hadn’t realized knew him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The empty dorm room should have been calming, but Akaashi found himself restless the very first night alone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma would be gone a week. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wondered again when his friend attended classes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wondered when he’d mentally filed Kenma as a friend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wondered if Kenma saw him as a friend. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Probably not; he probably saw him as an annoyance that came home too late from dates and couldn’t handle his own schoolwork and was trying to steal his best friends. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did Bokuto find him annoying? No, Bokuto moved too fast to find him annoying. He probably saw him as boring and stagnant. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi twisted and turned in bed, finding himself unable to sleep despite his total lack of energy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt numb, but it was an odd sort of numb, like he was still feeling. He realized, near sunrise, that his heart hurt, and he had no idea when the pain had started. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was exhausted through his glasses, but he couldn’t bring himself to go for a coffee. He might run into Sugawara or Hinata, and he couldn’t handle social interaction at the moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The second night, he realized why the feeling of Kenma being gone had upset him. The second night, he cried. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was like his childhood. He was alone. He’d had roommates since coming to college, so he was usually only completely alone when he visited home. Even if he and his roommate never spoke, the constant presence was comforting. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now, without Kenma, he felt the pressure of being around his parents creeping in and found himself sitting perfectly straight in his desk chair, shoving back the tears as best he could. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He inevitably failed and ended up curled around his pillow, which grew wet with tears. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He must have fallen asleep at some point that night, because he awoke past noon, realizing far too late that he hadn’t set an alarm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His alarm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When was the last time he’d checked his phone?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hadn’t needed an alarm Monday since he didn’t sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He scrambled for the device, seeing several notifications from Bokuto. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What kind of boyfriend was he? Was that what they were? Boyfriends? They’d been on a solid handful of dates. Still, why would Bokuto want him as a boyfriend? He couldn’t even be bothered to respond to messages. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> Good night Akaashi! </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> Good morning! </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> U ok?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> I’ve been thinking about you owl night long</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> Did I do smth wrong? I’m sry </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> What do u call an owl that knows how to do magic tricks???</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> HOOdini! </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> U said u like owls and their my favorite so</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Bokuto:</strong> Good morning </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><strong>Kenma:</strong> koutarou is worried abt you</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sequence of texts started Sunday night end ended at seven that morning. Akaashi typed out a quick apology and assured him that he’d done nothing wrong, Akaashi simply hadn’t been on his phone, typed a quick reply to Kenma, and then he flopped back onto his bed, feeling the tears returning. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hoped that it would end soon. Would his parents find out that he’d missed a day of classes? Would he manage to get out of bed to go the rest of the week while Kenma was gone?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he fell back asleep, he sent emails to his professors, explaining that he has suddenly fallen ill and could not risk spreading it to the class, and then emailed his Wednesday professors as well, just in case he was out of commission for another day. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was a good decision, evidently, considering that he faded in and out of consciousness for the rest of Tuesday and into the start of Wednesday. He tried to keep better track of his phone so that no one would worry, since he wasn’t worth that, but it was difficult. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every time he checked the time, it seemed hours had passed while only feeling like minutes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was an incessant thought in his head that he couldn’t seem to get rid of, even as he tried to chase it out with images of Bokuto smiling and listening to audiobooks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">I must be annoying. That’s why he hasn’t texted me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Who could help Akaashi now? He’s certainly not helping himself. Where’s Kuroo? Can Akaashi make it until Kenma returns? Find out next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I’m going to work on finding a more consistent upload schedule so I don’t leave you guys hanging! Be sure to let me know in the comments if you’re okay with getting a little darker with the mental health issues!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kenma leaves for a week and everything goes to sh!t, man</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">“I am not actually tired, but numb and heavy, and can’t find the right words.”</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-Franz Kafka</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi woke again, with no idea what day it was, to someone’s hand on his shoulder. He didn’t open his eyes, answering only with a weak groan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hm, it’s bad, isn’t it?” The voice sounded familiar, but Akaashi’s mind still felt hazy, and he couldn’t place it. “I get that way, too, sometimes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi pried open his eyes, but the image was blurry, so the next comment was necessary to confirm the person’s identity. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on, Pretty-kun! I need to get some food in you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi sat up a bit, and realized he was in his bed, with the covers pulled over him. Hadn’t he pulled the covers off of his bed to lay on the floor at some point?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ll also definitely need a shower. I may be kind enough to pick up your room and tuck you in, but I’m not about to bathe you! Unless you’d like me to?” he asked with a playful wink, smirk reminding Akaashi of Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa-san,” he said, shocking himself with how tired his voice sounded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t need to talk yet. Come on, I’ll get you a change of clothes. Go shower, then we’ll go get food and talk.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa helped him to the shared bathroom of his floor. His dorm room with Kenma was nice enough to include a small bathroom, but it only included a toilet and sink. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t zone back in until he was under the warm water. He hadn’t brought any of his shower supplies with him, but a hand was reaching past the curtain, holding shower gel. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is mine, so you’ll be paying be back for it, Pretty-kun!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His hands moved habitually as he cleaned himself, and Oikawa offered his own shampoo as well. When he turned the water off, a towel was held out past the curtain, and he huddled himself in it like a blanket, missing the warmth of his bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ready for clothes?” Oikawa asked after a minute, and Akaashi quickly finished drying himself and accepted the change of clothes, including the dark green sweater Oikawa had said would be perfect for their presentation. Their presentation! What day was that supposed to be? What day was it? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa-san, what-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Saturday.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No way. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d missed a week of classes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d missed their presentation. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d missed his weekly date with Bokuto. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I covered for you, once I guessed what was going on. It wasn’t hard, when Kou-chan said you hadn’t texted.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s right, he hadn’t texted Bokuto at all! All those missed messages the last time he’d checked...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s not mad, by the way. Really worried, but I told him you were okay. Figured you wouldn’t want him worrying, but I’m sure I didn’t stop him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he was dressed and out of the shower, Oikawa continued leading him, and Akaashi remained in a daze. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He zoned back in as Oikawa ushered him into a seat in a casual restaurant, one he wasn’t familiar with. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I considered Refreshing-kun’s cafe, but he has a shift right now, and I figured you wouldn’t appreciate being bombarded with questions.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Someone placed a plate of onigiri in front of him. Had he ordered? This was one of his favorite foods. Oikawa wouldn’t have known that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Eat, Pretty-kun!” Oikawa insisted, shoving his own meal into his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi complied, though much slower. He usually had such a large appetite, what was wrong with him?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve been practically starving yourself all week! Completely drained Ken-chan’s snack supply, so we should really refill that while we’re out. He gets back tonight, doesn’t he?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi nodded. He’d eaten Kenma’s food? He knew Kenma kept a bag of food by a mini fridge on his side of the room— it was the only reason Akaashi wasn’t confused as to how he didn’t starve without leaving the room— but he didn’t remember going over there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So I stopped by Wednesday to go over stuff before our presentation, and stole your phone when I saw you passed out. Your password was way too easy to guess, by the way.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi glared, and Oikawa’s grin seemed to grow wider. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I emailed your professors from it, telling them you’d contracted an awful case of the flu, and that you’d be back Monday. Then, I confirmed the story the next day in PoliSci and offered to take you the work you missed. It’s all in a file folder on your desk, by the way. You and I will be going over it tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa had done all of that for him? They were hardly amicable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Oikawa-san. You didn’t have to-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nonsense, Pretty-kun! We’re friends now, whether you like it or not!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Decidedly not,” Akaashi said, voice raspy from a week without speaking, but Oikawa simply grasped his chest in mock hurt. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My presence is a gift, Kei-chan.” Oh, a nickname upgrade? “Anyways, Iwa-chan is the only one who knows what was going on, since I stayed over last night. It’s a good thing Kenma keeps his bed tidy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not surprising, considering he seems to live out of it.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ha! Right? I still haven’t even met him in person, thanks to that habit. We’ve been thrown into a number of group chats, though. I’m assuming Kou-chan’s insistence is the only reason you’ve avoided that fate.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I tried to make a group chat, and apparently Refreshing-kun did, too, but Kou-chan insisted that we not bother you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi definitely would have been bothered by a group chat, so he sent a silent thanks to Bokuto. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You should tell him, by the way. He’s been worried, though I’m sure you know that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell him what?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever’s been circling through your mind to leave you immobile in your dorm room, Kei-chan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi shook his head, unsure of what thoughts had been circling through his mind. He was lonely, then he remembered Kuroo hadn’t texted him, he was sure Bokuto was too good for him and deserved someone who could match his enthusiasm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All of those things were still true, except perhaps, with Oikawa here, he wasn’t quite as lonely. How could he talk to Bokuto about that, though?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t have to. It just helps. It helped me to talk to Iwa-chan about it.” Akaashi stared at the table, fiddling with his fingers beneath it. “Kou-chan’s a good guy, and he really cares about you. He’s a trustworthy option for an outlet.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t-“ Akaashi was interrupted when Oikawa opened something on his phone and started to read. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>‘He’s sick?! Is he okay?!’ ‘I should bring him food!’</em> To which I replied, ‘You can’t risk your health right before volleyball season, I’ll take care of it,’ and then he said, <em>‘OK! He likes onigiri, but it’s not his favorite. His favorite is nanohana no karashiae,’</em> and then I thanked him and he said to let him know when he can visit.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto remembered his favorite food?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s not even the tip of the iceberg, honestly. You should see how much he spammed me asking if you were in class or if I thought it would be too much for him to check on you at your dorm. You’re welcome, by the way, for telling him yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When about half of the onigiri were gone, Oikawa said that they could get to shopping. They strolled through the aisles, Oikawa grabbing packages of chips and candy as they went. He grabbed a few water bottles and energy drinks, then ended up by coffee and tea. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulled out a phone that Akaashi recognized as his own, and he glared again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa-san, when will you return my phone?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When I drop you off at home!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi sighed in defeat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa grabbed a few bottles of tea and placed them in the cart. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenma drinks this?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope! This is for you. I asked Ken-chan if you could keep drinks in his fridge for you. These aren’t caffeinated, but they’ll help with energy and leave you feeling less gross.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Ken-chan?</em> Really?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi had felt fairly gross all week. Was that because of his mind, or was it from eating all of Kenma’s junk food?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa grabbed two bottled coffees, both mocha. “You may need some caffeine, but you don’t get more than this. Insomnia is no good, either.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa paid at the checkout, and Akaashi felt bad until he noticed his own credit card sticking out of the machine. Damn him! </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though, if he was this excellent at breaking into dorms, and stealing phones and wallets, Akaashi supposed he should be glad he was only using his skill to text roommates and buy snacks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Next, ice cream!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oikawa-san, I really think I should-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Two more stops, Kei-chan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another sigh of defeat later, Oikawa was ordering him a cup of chocolate ice cream. They ate while walking towards the park, ending up on what Akaashi mentally referred to as the bench. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Moments like these help,” Oikawa said softly, looking past the volleyball court at the sunset. “Moments where the world slows down. It makes me feel less drowned by it all. A little less hopeless.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wondered how a person like Oikawa existed. He was so strong, yet he could be so vulnerable. He was selfish and rude, but he’d been helping Akaashi all week. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Oikawa-san.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course, Kei-chan! Like I said, we’re friends now, whether you like it or not!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think I might like that. Surprisingly.” Akaashi enjoyed seeing Oikawa’s mock hurt almost as much as he enjoyed seeing the genuine side of him that showed as he watched the sunset. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the sky was dark, Oikawa helped Akaashi carry the groceries back to his dorm and store them in the mini fridge, as well as Kenma’s snack bag next to it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oikawa gave him a tight hug goodbye before leaving. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t forget, we’re meeting at two tomorrow to go over what you missed!” he called on his way out the door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t want to be alone in his room again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He opened one of the teas Oikawa picked out while he checked his phone. Kenma said he would be back soon twenty minutes ago. Bokuto sent several messages asking if he was okay. Akaashi ignored them all in favor of asking if he’d like to get lunch. He had some more messages from Oikawa from earlier in the week. Nothing from Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After receiving an enthusiastic reply from Bokuto, Akaashi looked over the folder Oikawa had left him. Their coursework didn’t look too difficult, but he was thankful Oikawa would be helping him with it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not wanting to stay in his room any longer, he decided to see if the nearest convenience store had any of the drink he’d just finished. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The warmth of the day hung in the air as Akaashi walked, and he wondered for a moment if the changing weather would bring about another shopping trip with Oikawa. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He found he didn’t hate the prospect. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The night was dark and empty, surprising for a Saturday night on campus, but he was in a less popular part of it. Most businesses in the area had closed hours ago. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi looked up at the sky as he walked. The moon was only a sliver, a bright streak in the dark sky. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was about to cross the street to the 24-hour convenience store when a yelp caught his attention. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was familiar, a sound he recognized from late nights, when his roommate was killed by a digital foe. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Kenma?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi followed the sound and turned the corner to see his roommate shoved against a brick wall, a figure much closer to Akaashi’s height glaring down at him. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kuroo’s been gone a couple chapters now. I wonder what on earth could be up with him 🤔</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kenma talks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Me being me, I just had to include some action! There is a little more in a later chapter, but it’s more the effects of something not shown.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">“You touched me, and suddenly I felt a little less war torn. I’m not sure what peace is supposed to feel like, but I think it may feel a lot like you.”</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>
    <span class="s1">-Unknown</span>
  </strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><br/>One look at Kenma’s fear-stricken eyes convinced him to interfere. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Excuse me, what’s going on here?” he asked, trying not to sound as scared as he felt, but he knew his voice wobbled a bit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The man backed away from Kenma just a bit to examine Akaashi, and he could smell the alcohol on his breath. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dark, greasy hair fell down the side of his face for a sharp part. His narrow eyes looked Akaashi up and down, likely trying to determine if he was truly a threat. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was well aware his physical strength was something he needed to work on, so he reached into his pocket for his phone— and came up empty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi forced himself to stay calm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The man was drunk, and Akaashi was smart. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll call the police if you don’t back away from him,” he said, this time successful in keeping his voice steady. His hand remained clenched in his pocket, as though around a phone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The assaulter’s eyes widened, then narrowed back on Akaashi’s face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re bluffing.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi didn’t falter. Kenma was in danger. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why would I be? If calling wasn’t an option, I would have already knocked you to the ground. I certainly wouldn’t be standing here holding my phone.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi was probably not capable of knocking this man to the ground, but if he didn’t seem scared, then the man wouldn’t know that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The man did back away from Kenma, but only to lunge at Akaashi, so that they both landed on the ground. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi pulled his hands out of his pockets to catch himself, and the man watched them come out empty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Bitch!</em>” he roared, bringing a hand to Akaashi’s throat, but it was pulled back. They both looked up to see Kenma, both hands wrapped tightly around the assaulter’s wrist, pulling the arm away from Akaashi. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The man prepared his other arm to grab at Kenma, but Akaashi wrapped his arms around it, keeping the hand planted on the ground. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He struggled against them, until a familiar voice called out, “KENMA! Is that you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuro?” Kenma gasped, out of breath. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Daishou?” Kuroo asked next. “The hell are you doing here? Get away from-“ Kuroo’s words died in his throat when his eyes met Akaashi’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His gaze quickly darkened, and he flicked his eyes up to Daishou, grabbing him by the shoulders and tearing him away from the pair and sending him skittering onto his back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo! Where’d you- Kenma? ‘Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bokuto! </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi almost immediately found himself enveloped in a tight grasp, Bokuto’s warmth surrounding him and supporting his head on his chest. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you okay? Oh gosh, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have listed to ‘Kawa, I should have come to check on you!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wanted to assure Bokuto that he was fine, but he let himself breathe in Bokuto’s scent, flowery, and relax into his hold. He must have worked a shift. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes fluttered closed, but he remained awake, aware of his surroundings. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Daishou left. I think I left a black eye, though, and definitely some bruises. Kenma, are you okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daishou...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was the name that Kuroo had been scared of, that the boys in the bathroom had been talking about. He had some personal grudge against Kuroo, if Akaashi remembered correctly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bo, is he-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He saved me,” Kenma’s voice interjected. “I ran into Daishou stumbling home from some bar, probably, and he cornered me. Keiji got him to let me go. He was really brave.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi felt himself blush at Kenma’s complements. He’d been absolutely terrified. Not to mention, Kenma had saved him as well. He was brave, too. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Kaashi, you’re a hero!” Bokuto murmured close to Akaashi’s ear. He felt his face grow warm from their proximity. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I assure you, Bokuto-san, I’m nothing of the sort,” Akaashi said, a small smile forming on his face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt Bokuto give a light squeeze around his stomach where his arms were wrapped. Akaashi rubbed at one of his palms, sore from catching his fall previously. Bokuto’s head hooked over his shoulder, and he could feel the concern as he watched, even though he couldn’t see his expression. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Want me to carry your bags, KenKen?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuro, I swear, don’t call me that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Was that a yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi opened his eyes and stood, feeling cold when Bokuto’s arms released him, but he quickly remedied this by intertwining his fingers with Akaashi’s and causing a blush to warm him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They set off towards their dorm, Kenma and Kuroo trailing behind them, the latter’s arms burdened with luggage. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Both pairs were silent, still a little shocked. Akaashi was also worried he’d be questioned about his absence, and angry about Kuroo’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Back at the dorm, Kuroo loaded Kenma’s bags into the dorm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Next time, I’m picking you up and taking you back to the dorm,” he insisted as he strode out the door. His eyes met Akaashi’s and his gaze softened, looking guilty, before he left. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good night, Bokuto-san. I’ll see you for lunch tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! See you then, Akaashi!” Bokuto leaned down and pecked Akaashi’s nose before running to catch up with Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi blushed. That was just cute. Bokuto was cute. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he closed the door and turned back to the room, Kenma’s eyes were on him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you alright, Kenma?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. Thanks to you.” Akaashi felt like that wasn’t all he wanted to say, especially since his gaze was still unwavering. Akaashi stared back until Kenma continued. “I didn’t like Koutarou when we first met him.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wasn’t actually surprised by that. Despite feeling like everyone would be drawn to Bokuto’s natural light, he was not ignorant to the fact that he and Kenma were practically opposites. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It had always been Kuro and I. He was popular, but he always shot down requests to hang out in favor of spending time with me. He was all I needed.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">People really needed to stop telling Akaashi about Kuroo being sweet when he hadn’t texted him in weeks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When Koutarou became his friend, it felt like he was stealing him from me. Suddenly, Saturday’s spent playing MarioKart at my house became days spent playing volleyball at the park. I had fun, but I always felt so stuck outside of everything. They would keep playing a while after me, and it felt like they had some connection I could never have with him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Frankly, Akaashi was shocked Kenma was still talking. This was certainly more than he’d ever heard him speak, combined. Still, he kept nodding in acknowledgement of the story. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When we were all on the volleyball team my first year, I almost quit. I didn’t like it enough to outweigh all of the negatives. Every practice I had to watch them be the best of friends. Not to mention, the third years didn’t like me. I’ve always been this thin, and they felt like I ruined their strong image. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That wasn’t too bad, but then some of the second years caught on and started messing with me, trying to suck up to their upperclassmen. It was the worst when one of them tried to break my PSP, saying I needed to quit or they’d smash it over their knee. Then, someone’s hand reached over my head and pulled it out of their arms and out of reach. I turned around, expecting to see Kuro, but it was Koutarou. He handed me my PSP, smiled at me, and pushed me behind him, assuring the second year that he’d get him kicked off the team. He did, too, with Kuro’s help. The two of them never forgave anyone who messed with me once they found out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess it showed me what a good guy Koutarou is, showed me why Kuro liked him. I thought maybe I was jealous because I wanted to date Kuro, but we tried that, and no luck. It did help me figure out I’m aro, though, and it didn’t mess things up between us.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That answered a lot of Akaashi’s questions about the relationship between Kenma and Kuroo. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I talked to Kuro about it. I told him how I felt about Koutarou, that I felt like he was replacing me and didn’t need me. Do you know what he said?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi shook his head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That idiot said that he didn’t start inviting Koutarou to hang out with us because he wanted another friend. He did it because he felt like I could use one. He said something about his sunny disposition being a positive force in my life that he couldn’t be. Kuro has this habit of always thinking that he’s not enough.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Things changed after that, I guess. I saw why Kuro had been drawn to Koutarou. He’s an unstoppable force. Sometimes I think Kuro’s trapped in his orbit, but he wants to be there.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma’s voice was growing hoarse, and he opened his mini fridge to get a drink, sparing Akaashi a glance as he saw his additions. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As he took a long drink of some unhealthy-looking energy drink, Akaashi spoke.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why are you telling me this?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t like you. I didn’t mind you as a roommate, but I was concerned when Koutarou and Kuro came over and starting asking about you after only seeing a book.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s right, Kuroo had made the connection when he saw Akaashi’s book on the desk. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They’re both people who tend to care too much, and you had this cold look in your eyes. I was worried they would get hurt. They both do really care about you, you know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kuroo-san has an interesting way of showing it.” Oops. Had he said that out loud?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Has he still not texted you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes. A little. He’s still just as much of an idiot as he’s always been.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I suppose. I assume something changed your mind about me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sort of. I mean, there wasn’t one thing, until tonight. There was the party. The cold look in your eyes disappeared when you pet Hikari. You didn’t seem to notice how much time had passed, either, and that’s when I started to piece that part together. Then, Koutarou. You fixed his mood. I was worried you wouldn’t even tolerate it. Kuro and I both were. But you fixed it. I don’t think anyone’s ever managed to fully pull him out of it. Even his therapist said we needed to be careful about trying to fix him.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“His therapist?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For his bipolar depression. The whole volleyball game, you looked at him with this warm expression, like with Hikari. You seem less cold overall, now. I think...I think you two are good influences on each other.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Kenma. It means a lot to hear you say that.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They both mean a lot to me. Now you do, too. I trust you with Koutarou’s heart. It’s a fragile thing, you know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wasn’t sure he did. Bokuto was tough. He had his moods, but that was different. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you. Really. Daishou...he’s not normal. Something about him makes me uneasy, besides his past with Kuro.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am I ever going to hear that story?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenma exhaled a soft chuckle. “Eventually. My point is, I really was scared. You were too, I could tell, but you didn’t freeze. I did. Anyways, thank you. I’m not sure what I would have done without you there.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Akaashi wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so a moment of silence permeated the room. Then, </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good night, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sleep well, Kenma.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Nothing like the best friend seal of approval. Let’s be real, those three would get nowhere without Kenma.</p><p>I don’t think I’ve ever spent a chapter on one night before. I guess there was the first one?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sorry for the late update! I’m now on a more organized life plan so that should mean more consistent updates!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My Ravenclaw curiosity of flowers is actually useful now!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>”Little by little she came to know tenderness and hope.”</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>-Amparo Dávila</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was waiting for Akaashi when he arrived at the yakiniku restaurant. He smiled wide when he entered, and Akaashi felt his neutral mood lift. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s smile was infectious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Akaashiii!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lunch almost felt like normal, like Akaashi hadn’t spent a week shut away in his dorm room alone, not responding to messages. Bokuto talked about volleyball, stories from high school as well as rankings of professional teams, and Akaashi eased into his comfortable silence of listening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kaashi?” Bokuto started after they’d finished eating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have an idea for something that might help you with stress and stuff. I know ‘Kawa’s helping you with school stuff today. Think you’d be free any time this week before Friday?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi, unfortunately, recognized how much school work he needed to catch up on, and told Bokuto they could do his idea for their date Friday night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t seem fully satisfied, but he agreed, and the end of the week came quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi had Oikawa and Bokuto to thank for making it through. Time moved quickly, thanks to the chaotic whirlwind of schoolwork that had trapped him, but Oikawa helped him manage it, and Bokuto offered him hope, serving as the light at the end of the tunnel, and that wasn’t to mention the frequent inspirational messages that appeared throughout the week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Come Friday evening, Bokuto was greeting Akaashi at the door to his dorm room with a large smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready?” he asked, offering a hand, and Akaashi nodded as he took it. Bokuto checked his footwear before they left the building, to ensure his boots were suitable. Akaashi would have doing this odd, as his date tapped at the sides of his shoes, but nothing could be odd with Bokuto, who was exceedingly unusual himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Bokuto’s approval, the pair left the building and Akaashi was invited into the passenger seat of a decomposing red 2000 Honda Accord. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The interior wasn’t much better, littered with wrappers and bottles, but they all seemed to have been cleared from the passenger seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you don’t mind the car! The place is just a little far for a walk, and we’ll be walking when we get there, anyways!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi assured him that it was fine, and the car rumbled to life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It sounded old and the engine spluttered, as though it might not make it. Akaashi threw Bokuto a concerned glance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry! She’s sounded like that for years, but she still runs fine!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Great. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least the drive wasn’t long, so Akaashi didn’t have long to contemplate the impending doom of the deteriorating car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were at some kind of park. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto opened his door for him and offered a hand, which he took. Warm fingers intertwined with his own, and he was led to a faint dirt trail, created by repeated use rather than a plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s hand not holding Akaashi’s held a basket, no doubt full of food for a picnic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sky was a grayish shade of blue, the faded color that preceded the sunset. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto led him up a hill, the trees surrounding them bright green as spring began to come to an end. Several of the cherry blossom trees still had bright pink flowers on their branches. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flowers lined the path as well, which made Akaashi think of Bokuto and his job at the flower shop. He should visit him sometime, right? Bokuto put in a lot of effort. He should do the same, shouldn’t he? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s legs ached slightly from the steep ascent, but he enjoyed the walk nonetheless. He’d definitely needed the fresh air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was also enjoying the grin of determination on Bokuto’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they approached the top of the hill, the frequency of flowers along the path seemed to increase. Akaashi saw brilliant hues of yellows and golds, pinks and purples. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here we are,” Bokuto said, looking down, and Akaashi joined him. The top of the hill they stood on was covered in lush green grass and every array of flowers, with pink seeming to be the predominant color. There was a clear grassy area where Akaashi supposed they would be setting up the blanket. Below them, however, Akaashi could see the rocky edges of this side of the hill and the ground far beneath them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a cliff? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was beautiful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun was setting, casting a golden glow over them, and Bokuto was shining in it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked practically celestial as he looked into the distance, wearing his usual smile that had brought so much comfort to Akaashi, bathed in golden light that seemed to make his perfect eyes shimmer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His pale blue button up was engulfed in the glow, the color overridden by gold. His skin almost seemed to produce its own light like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san?” Bokuto turned to acknowledge him, and Akaashi grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had kissed since the first time, chaste and fleeting after some of their dates, but this was different. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi almost felt as though he was drawn to Bokuto in a way he hadn’t been before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was more intimate, more scorching, and when he pulled away, he found it was more lingering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked shocked, and Akaashi was about to apologize when his arms were around him, lifting him off of his feet. He spun him around and called out, “I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His words seemed to reverberate through the field and rocks far below them, and Akaashi blushed fiercely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t referred to themselves as boyfriends before, had they?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto set up the blanket and containers of food, including onigiri and wagashi, and even a container of strawberry daifuku. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a friend whose brother runs a restaurant,” he explained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After they ate, Bokuto showed him the flowers around them. Some were just starting to bloom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Those are cosmos!” he said, pointing at a group of bright pink flowers. “They symbolize cleanliness and love!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about those?” Akaashi found himself asking, gesturing to a group of purple flowers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Violets! They symbolize...” he paused in thought for a moment. “Right! Sincerity!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They went around like that for a while until Akaashi realized that a great amount of the flowers on the hill were similar in shape, while ranging from white to pink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san? What are these? Are they all the same flower?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! The camellias! Yeah, they’re all different types of camellias! They mean a couple different things, too!” He crouched over a group of them. “I’m pretty sure someone came up here and planted a whole bunch of them at some point, but I’m not complaining!” Bokuto relaxed to a seated position by the flowers, and Akaashi joined him. “They can symbolize the divine. Also love and affection and stuff. And perfection and faithfulness.” He seemed to be adding on as he recalled more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s amazing, Bokuto-san. They’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi leaned against his boyfriend— boyfriend!— resting his head on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stayed there like that for a while, letting the sky get dark. It was peaceful, and the breeze almost made Akaashi shiver, but Bokuto was so warm beside him, he allowed himself to be enveloped in the feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kaashi, look!” Akaashi looked where Bokuto was pointing: up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sky was alit with a beautiful spattering of stars, much more clear than they appeared back on campus. Up on the hill, they almost seemed closer, but still entirely unreachable. Nonetheless, Akaashi didn’t fight the urge to reach his arm up towards them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re beautifuller!” Bokuto assured him, and when Akaashi chuckled, he asked, “That’s not a word, is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s close enough.” They looked back up at the sky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your laugh is really pretty, ‘Kaashi.” A pause, while Akaashi blushed. Sometimes, he wished he didn’t have a response to compliments like that, or that he knew what to say. Maybe one day. “Can I kiss you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi lifted his head and looked into Bokuto’s eyes, seeing the reflections of constellations in them. He nodded, and Bokuto’s warm hands cupped his cheeks and pulled him close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their second kiss of the night was just as deep as the first, seemingly more searing, and more daring as Bokuto ran his tongue along Akaashi’s lips, deepening it to a point Akaashi, in all of his emotional numbness and relationship naivety, hadn’t before experienced. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt awkward, scared he would do something wrong and mess it up, since Bokuto actually seemed to know what he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kaashi,” Bokuto murmured against his lips, volume soft for once, “you’re perfect.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t know how someone like Bokuto, who simply radiated light, could possibly see him as perfect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The millimeters between them closed again, and Akaashi moved to sit in front of Bokuto, so that they didn’t have to tilt their heads at uncomfortable angles. His arms wrapped around Bokuto’s neck, and Bokuto’s hands found his waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He allowed himself to be gently guided into Bokuto’s lap as their mouths moved against each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s tongue in his mouth was strange, but he found he didn’t hate it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi found that Bokuto’s lap was actually quite comfortable, and when their lips parted, he rested his chin on Bokuto’s shoulder and felt his arms tighten around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you find this place?” he asked softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that. I was just walking around when I was having an episode once, and I found it. Kuroo said I wander a lot when I’m like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Episode? Was it related to the bipolar depression Kenma mentioned? Or maybe the ADHD?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Usually I like being around people, and they cheer me up, but being up here, around all the flowers, and with a view like that, it just felt really peaceful. I’ve come up here ever since.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi enjoyed the mental image of Bokuto relaxing among the flowers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He also enjoyed the current warmth he was feeling from having Bokuto practically surrounding him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never brought someone here before. Well, Kuroo tracked my phone here the first time ‘cause he was worried I would get mugged or something. He left when he saw me at peace I guess. Anyways, I figured you could use some peace.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took a moment to think about that. Bokuto had this beautiful place that he always visited alone, a personal safe haven, but he brought Akaashi into it because he knew he needed some peace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re too kind to me, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah. You’re just not kind enough to yourself, ‘Kaashi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A familiar face popped into Akaashi’s mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What, you don’t think you’re worth our kindness?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let yourself be happy, Starlight.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No. If he was going to avoid Akaashi, then he wouldn’t think about him on this night where he finally felt okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what was the other thing he’d said that night?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re wrong. And Bo’s clearly the best person to show you that, so let him.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thanks to the alcohol, Akaashi hadn’t recalled the full conversation before, only snippets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he doing that? Was he letting Bokuto show him that he was worth something? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Could </span>
  </em>
  <span>he?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ready to go?” Bokuto asked, and Akaashi tried to ignore the lurch of his heart at the implication that he was tired of him, but then he added, “We still have another place to go!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” They got up, and Akaashi helped clean up the empty food containers and blanket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The light of the moon illuminated the hill, giving the camellias a soft silver glow. Bokuto plucked one and tucked it behind Akaashi’s ear, like he had with the Morning Glory a couple of months ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto held the basket in one hand and offered the other to Akaashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whadya say? Ready for Part Two?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sooo<br/>Part of the reason that took so long was bc I’m a lesbian trying to write two guys kissing<br/>I had to stop after like every sentence smh<br/>It was v uncomfortable lmao but I DID IT <br/>And like I said in the tags, Akaashi is demisexual, so if this had happened sooner, he most likely would not have enjoyed it<br/>Now he might start noticing more physical features of Bokuto 👀</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Date Night Pt. 2</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sooo heads up that this has descriptions of an injury and blood and stuff!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>“Sometimes I feel like I’m not solid. I’m hollow. There’s nothing behind my eyes. I’m a negative of a person. All I want is blackness, blackness, and silence.”</strong><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>-Sylvia Plath</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They arrived at a FamilyMart just off campus. Akaashi gave Bokuto a questioning look. He smiled. “Trust me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was only vaguely surprised to realize that he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wouldn’t have followed him up a hill and made out with him on a cliff surrounded by flowers otherwise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto put a decently cheap bottle of sake in their basket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Planning to get me drunk, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chuckled. “It’s more effective when you’re a little buzzed!” he assured him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi still trusted him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto led them to cutlery and started looking at plates. Akaashi surmised he was checking the prices. He put four in their basket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next was a pair of gardening gloves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was followed by an amalgamation of what looked like Christmas ornaments. They were on clearance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto also added ceramic and glass decorations. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they arrived at the checkout, Akaashi was thoroughly confused. Bokuto had managed to keep their total below ¥1000, which Akaashi thought was impressive with their collection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the car, Bokuto took a drink of the sake and offered it to Akaashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a small drink, savoring the sweet flavor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was good sake for only about ¥80. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Bokuto took another drink, he handed it to Akaashi again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said ‘a little buzzed’.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kuroo and I are gonna up your alcohol tolerance, ‘Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi bit back the bitter </span>
  <em>
    <span>only you</span>
  </em>
  <span> comment he longed to make. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto drove them to an alley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san, are you sure you’re not planning to murder me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chuckled and reached in front of Akaashi to open the glove box, which required awkwardly jiggling the jammed handle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inside were jumbles of papers, an unopened cereal bar, and sunflower-patterned gloves, which he removed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was perplexed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hopped out of the car and ran to open Akaashi’s door for him before he could open it himself. Once he was out, Bokuto grabbed their grocery bag and handed Akaashi the gardening gloves, plain blue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Safety first!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi began to grasp Bokuto’s plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san, is this responsible?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kaashi, don’t worry about responsibility! Besides, I know the manager of the convenience store right here,” he tapped on the stone wall next to them, belonging to a building with a neon </span>
  <em>
    <span>24 Hour</span>
  </em>
  <span> sign out front, “and he’ll totally let me borrow his broom!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed, accepting that this was happening, and put on the gloves. Bokuto handed him a ceramic beetle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As hard as you can!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi tried to oblige, but his instincts and reservations about the activity kicked in at the last second, and he ended up essentially dropping it to the concrete, earning it a chip and nothing more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he looked up, Bokuto was looking at him curiously, as though trying to decide what color his hair was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Try thinking.” Akaashi raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I meant like, think about something that makes you angry or maybe anxious?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed and tried to comply. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What made him angry? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been angry when those guys before that party had insulted Bokuto and Kuroo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kuroo. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo made him angry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t just support Akaashi and </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’d practically disappeared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was such a good friend to Bokuto and he was nice to Akaashi and made him coffee, perfectly at that, and tried to comfort him and then he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. How could he just drop out of Akaashi’s life like that, affirming his feelings that no one would stick around?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, it made him anxious, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi picked the beetle back up and hurled it to the ground, shattering it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect! I dunno what you were thinking about, but that was perfect, ‘Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, Akaashi wondered if Bokuto had forgotten there was a first syllable to his name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still thinking about Kuroo, Akaashi threw a glass gemstone at the ground, reveling in the sound of the impact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t consider himself one to get caught up in his emotions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most likely because his previous system consisted of repressing every emotion he ever felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nonetheless, he was drowned by his anger and fear. Mostly anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabbed one of the plates and smashed it. An ornament shaped like a bottle of alcohol. A glass book. Another plate. Bokuto threw his own plates at the ground, grumbling things about teachers and classes and feeling stupid. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ground was a mess of shards. Bokuto sat his hand lightly on Akaashi’s head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feel better?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded numbly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, he recognized this feeling. Numbness. What happened to his anger?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kay! I’ll go ask Ukai for his broom!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s footsteps retreated behind him, and Akaashi looked at the mess in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt dizzy. Was it the sake? The sudden expression of emotions? The relentless voice in his head telling him that if he was angry at Kuroo for leaving, that meant he at least somewhat enjoyed his company?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The world was spinning. The shards in front of him blurred into a shimmering blob in his vision. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he swaying? No, that was probably just the dizziness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ground definitely wasn’t getting closer, either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“AGHAASH!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something clattered to the ground behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He registered the warmth before the pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was the pain from? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi? What happened? Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t speak. Bokuto was the warmth, evidently. What was the pain?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard a dial tone. Was Bokuto calling someone?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was the dial tone really repeating that many times or was it a trick his woozy mind was playing on him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard a faint, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Hello?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> from the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kenma! ‘Kaashi’s hurt, and I don’t wanna drive just yet ‘cause I had sake! Can you come get us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Where are you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“By Sakanoshita store! By the way, why are you answering Kuroo’s phone? Why didn’t he answer? He’s not hurt too, is he?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma sighed loud enough that Akaashi heard it.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “He just got back from work.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really? It’s like— eleven! His shift ended at nine, didn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, then, “Oh.” Bokuto sounded sad. Why did he sound sad? Akaashi wanted to fix it. He opened his eyes (when did he close them?) and lifted a hand to Bokuto’s face above him. That’s when he noticed the blood. He’d realized his hands hurt, but not that there was blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll be there soon. Be careful, Koutarou.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I will! Thanks, Kenma.” Bokuto’s eyes focused on Akaashi, distraught with concern. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi heard how faint his voice was, but it didn’t feel like it was coming from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kaashi…”Bokuto almost looked guilty. Let’s get you to the car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi wanted to argue, to assure Bokuto that he was fine, and that he didn’t need to worry or feel any of the things he was feeling, but there was no stopping Bokuto Koutarou from </span>
  <em>
    <span>feeling</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, he allowed himself to be gently lifted and carried the few meters to the car, then laid meticulously across the backseat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was gone for a moment, calling out assurances of his return behind him. He did return quickly, though not alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s first thought was “wrong bleach blond”, since he was aware enough to know they were waiting on Kenma, but the man next to Bokuto was possibly taller and </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>older. That wasn’t to say he was particularly old, but he certainly wasn’t a student. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, ‘Kaashi!” Bokuto was shoving an open water bottle in his face, and Akaashi reached up to take it before remembering that his hands were where that pain was coming from, and they were still covered in blood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, Bokuto held it to his lips and helped him drink. It was embarrassing, having to be assisted in such a way, but the pain seemed to get stronger and his mind was drawn away from the mortification of being babied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, his knees were stinging, too. How long had that been going on?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does he need a hospital?” Bokuto asked the man, still frantic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, he should be okay. None of the cuts are too deep. There’s still glass in some, though. I can get you some tweezers and disinfectant and bandages and stuff from the shop if you need.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good, because I just brought the first aid kit from the dorm,” Kenma said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“KENMA! Oh my god thank god you’re here is he okay?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t trust my opinion? I’m the one with a kid!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Ukai-san! I just trust Kenma’s gut!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s okay, Koutarou. Will you get what the store owner offered for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi tilted his head up to see Bokuto’s enthusiastic nodding before he bounded away, followed by the man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm.” Akaashi had tried to form an actual word, but it didn’t happen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to have to take your jeans off to clean your cuts up. I can make Koutarou go wait somewhere else if you want. It’s up to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi had had enough humiliation for one night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want him to wait somewhere with Ukai?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another nod. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. It’s alright, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was practically whimpering when he returned with Ukai. They handed Kenma everything they’d brought from the store, and he sat the pile on the floorboard where he could reach it, and turned on the light in the backseat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ukai?” The man looked a little taken at the lack of honorific, but didn’t mention it. “Could you take Koutarou back to the store and help him calm down?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man nodded while Bokuto began yelling, “What?! No, I need to stay with ‘Kaashi! This is my fault! I need to help him!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Koutarou, you’re distraught right now. That’ll have an adverse effect on him. Go calm down.” Bokuto pouted but obeyed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they were out of sight, Kenma tugged Akaashi’s jeans off, and he cursed as the denim dragged on his knees, even though Kenma tried to be gentle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank god they brought a flashlight,” Kenma sighed, cursing the dim car light as he lifted said flashlight in his left hand and tweezers in his right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi winced every time the metal touched his knees as Kenma meticulously removed the shards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finished, Kenma held up two bottles. Water and the sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi let him help him take a drink of both. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma moved the tweezers to his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he’d finished, a pile of glass and ceramic shards lay on the floorboard. Kenma lifted the sake again.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They brought pain killers, but this might work better at this point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took a long drink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was laying in Bokuto’s car after having some kind of breakdown on a date, with his roommate removing glass shards from his flesh, yet his mind was wandering to his assignments. He was caught up in his Literature class. He had one thing in his Principles of Law class he wanted to ask Oikawa’s opinion on. He needed Oikawa’s help on their latest PoliSci assignment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was actually thankful for his own twisted priorities, since his anxiety over schoolwork was managing to distract him from the pain of whatever Kenma was pouring on his knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did notice the feeling of something being wrapped around his knees, and his hands were next. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Koutarou keeps extra volleyball shorts in his car in case he ‘stumbles across an opportunity to play’. I’ll find them,” Kenma said, and Akaashi heard the trunk opening. Shorts were tossed to him only a moment later. “Put those on. Be careful. I’ll go tell Koutarou it’s time to go home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi did as instructed, wincing as his hands tugged on the elastic waistband. He was thankful for the warming weather, given the late night transfer from jeans to shorts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Kaashi?! ‘Kaashi!” Bokuto leapt into the passenger seat and immediately twisted around to fret over Akaashi. Kenma took the driver’s seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thanked Ukai since you just ran out,” he said as he started the engine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Kenma! ‘Kaashi, are you okay?! I’m so sorry!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, Bokuto-san. I’m alright. And it wasn’t your fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I hold your hand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi lifted one of his bandaged hands, but Bokuto’s eyes watered at the sight of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s going to feel guilty for a while. Sorry,” Kenma said, eyes focused on the road ahead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi grabbed one of Bokuto’s hands, ignoring the stinging beneath the bandages. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay, Bokuto-san. You were there. You showed up. I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto seemed thoroughly unconvinced, but he leaned his head against the side of the headrest nonetheless. His body remained twisted awkwardly in the seat for the rest of the drive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to carry you upstairs!” he shouted as he exited the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not. You can hold my hand to make sure I don’t fall,” Akaashi said. He knew Bokuto would only get more stubborn if he left it at “no”. He wanted to hold his hand anyways, but this way, it seemed like a compromise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he pouted, and Akaashi knew it had worked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still insisted on helping him out of the car. Kenma grabbed everything else, from Akaashi’s jeans to the empty basket and blanket, to the nearly empty bottle of sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He followed behind them, moving to the front to unlock the door to their room when they reached it. Akaashi immediately let go of Bokuto’s hand to go sit on his bed, needing the comfort. Kenma handed him the blanket from their picnic, and he gladly accepted it and wrapped it around himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stood in front of him, looking like he wanted to say something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spit it out, Koutarou,” Kenma said, standing beside him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it helped? At all? Or did it just get you hurt?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, his idea. It was meant to help with anxiety and anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It did help him sort out his feelings. It just also made him think about them a little too much. He did find he felt he had less emotions buried beneath the surface, ready to explode at any moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It helped. I feel more at ease, thanks to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Kenma asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hesitated. Oikawa had said to tell people. He said it helped. He needed to tell them what he was feeling, at least part of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I sorted some feelings out, thanks to Bokuto-san. The problem was that I ended up thinking too much about some specific feelings.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both looked at him expectantly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had some sort of episode last week. Being alone reminded me of home a bit too much, I suppose. Oikawa-san helped quite a bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto moved to sit next to him. “It’s okay, ‘Kaashi. I have episodes, too. I know it sucks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that all?” Kenma asked, but his tone was sympathetic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s also some anger, but that’s for another time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>These were Kuroo’s best friends. If he told them how mad he’d made him, would they get upset with him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t intend to find out tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji. I left my things at Koutarou and Kuro’s place when I walked to get you guys earlier, so I have to go back, anyways. Why don’t I stay over there tonight, and Koutarou, you can sleep in my bed?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded enthusiastically before turning to Akaashi. “Is that okay, ‘Kaashi?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Koutarou, I’m taking the car,” Kenma said as he walked to the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slipped his shoes off, something Akaashi often forgot to do with the lack of a genkan in the small dorm rooms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma was gone, and Bokuto was getting comfortable in their dorm room because he would be spending the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi needed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathe</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It didn’t help that his knees and palms still stung. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ready to sleep?” Bokuto asked him, and he forgot why he’d been nervous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Bokuto’s, leaning back just slightly to say, “Yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto leaned forward then, reconnecting them, and Akaashi let the kiss deepen like it did on the hill. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s hands came up to gently cradle Akaashi’s face, and he brought his fingertips to Bokuto’s shirt in response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi slid himself into Bokuut’s lap once again, maneuvering them so that Bokuto was against the wall where his headboard would be if the little bed had one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He winced and pulled back when his knee brushed a bit too hard against the sheets, and Bokuto ran a hand through his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can finish this later.” He kissed his cheek. “You need to get some sleep, ‘Kaashi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, burying his head in Bokuto’s neck, sure that he was about to have to move so that Bokuto could get in Kenma’s bed, but Bokuto only lifted Akaashi slightly to scoot down so that his head was on the pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stretched his legs out, carefully so as not to irritate his knees, and curled his head into Bokuto’s chest. He still smelled vaguely of flowers, and Akaashi also recognized the scent of the sake they’d shared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was much more peaceful than trying to fall asleep alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought he’d grown accustomed to being alone. But if that was true, then why was allowing space for another person so easy?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>”Bokuto-san?” he asked softly, and he wasn’t sure that Bokuto had heard him. </span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>”I’m angry with Kuroo-san.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto held him a little tighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Two things!<br/>1: Akaashi’s episode was basically severe disassociation, which was essentially his brain’s emergency defense mechanism to a sudden onslaught of emotions!<br/>2: Don’t worry about this being Akaashi continuously being hurt, bc I know some stories do that. As I have it outlined now, Akaashi goes to a hospital four times over the course of the story, and only one of them is for himself!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I wanted more Oikawa-Akaashi interaction <br/>You wanted more KuroAka interaction<br/>This way we can both be happy</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guys I love Bokuto, I rly do, he just adores Akaashi so much</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>”I wasn’t expecting you to just let me in after everything you’ve been through, I’m expecting myself to be patient and persuasive until you finally realize how much you trust me.”</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>- Blaze Olamiday</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi woke up to warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s chest was so warm beneath his head, and his arms were so warm wrapped around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up at Bokuto’s sleeping face, looking ridiculous with his mouth wide open. A soft snore emanated from him, and Akaashi smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt at peace, even after his crazy night. His hands and knees had scabbed over beneath the bandages, and he felt okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t stressing about school, even. He was just enjoying the moment with his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone knocked on the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi groaned as he pushed away from Bokuto to answer the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His classmate opened his mouth to say something, but first eyed Akaashi’s shorts, then his knees, then Bokuto asleep in his bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi was still wearing Bokuto’s shorts! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell kind of fun did you two </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>last night? You needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>bandages?! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Iwa-chan hasn’t even done anything to me that warranted </span>
  <em>
    <span>bandages!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi groaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I almost passed out, collapsed on some glass. He slept over, but not like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa scoffed. “Terrible lie, Pretty-kun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you here for?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Studying! I figured with finals only two months away your parents would be hounding you, so we could get an early start!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Oikawa-san. Two months. No need to worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you want to be left to your boy toy, I understand!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can come in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why, thank you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa pushed past Akaashi into the dorm room and plopped his bag down by the desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Starlight </span>
  </em>
  <span>assignment go for you?” he asked, looking at the book that still lay there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well. The class chose my ending. The teacher seemed impressed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s awesome, ‘Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi startled and turned to see Bokuto sitting on his bed, smiling brightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It really is,” Oikawa asserted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you need me to leave so you guys can do your thing?” Bokuto offered, standing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded but walked over to him, hugging him tightly and basking in the warmth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A finger under his chin, Bokuto tilted his head up and kissed him quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you later, ‘Kaashi! Have fun with ‘Kawa!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, he was gone, and even with Oikawa there, the dorm felt quiet without him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They have a volleyball game next Friday,” Oikawa said, staring blankly at a journal. “You should go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hesitated before asking, “Are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, actually. Iwa-chan misses watching the games, and we should support our friends, anyways. I can’t wallow in self-pity forever!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His cheery, fake smile was back, and it made Akaashi feel sick. He nodded anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be there. It would have been our date night, anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised Kou-chan sticks to such a rigid schedule with you! It’s not really his style, you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi could tell. Bokuto was spontaneous and energetic, for sure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose we’ve both stepped out of our comfort zones,” he said, and it was true. Dating in general was stepping out of his comfort zone, as it was something his parents had always deemed a distraction, not to mention the fact it was a boy, which would make them lose their heads. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he were to date by their standards, he would have monthly dinners with a rich girl and propose after a year. They’d told him this exact plan, and he was worried with the messages from his father earlier in the semester that it would be enacted soon, but thus far he’d lucked out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto himself was entirely out of Akaashi’s comfort zone, yet moments with him always felt simultaneously thrilling and </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Everything about Bokuto was so warm, from his touch to his eyes to his voice as it boomed across courtyards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re so in love with him!” Oikawa said with a gag, but he was smiling, so the insult of it fell flat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hadn’t considered that. He knew it was generally something people found in relationships, but it wasn’t like he’d ever seen love between his parents, who married out of convenience. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know about that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, scared of the L-word, are we?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi rolled his eyes. “I’m not scared of anything, Oikawa-san.” That was a lie, as he’d been scared of his parents, and lately, himself. He’d always been scared of failure, as well. He also wasn’t fond of heights, but none of those things were relevant. “I simply don’t know that it’s been long enough to say,” he said, fiddling with his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa stared out the window. “He pulls you out of your darkness, doesn’t he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa laughed dryly. “That’s what Iwa-chan’s trying to do, but… I don’t know, I guess I worry that he’s just dragging himself into the dark with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was Akaashi supposed to say to that? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t be able to stop him from loving you,” he decided on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa smiled sadly. “I know. Sometimes I wish I could.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were both silent for a moment before Oikawa slammed his journal on Akaashi’s desk. “Okay! I said no more wallowing in self-pity, and I meant it! Let’s get to work!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi had been holding up fairly well in his classes, so with Oikawa’s help, they managed to get all of his work for the week completed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should tell Kou-chan that you’ll have some free time this week! Maybe he can take you out one night since we have the game Friday!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That would be nice,” Akaashi smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For now though, I saw we go out for a—“ he checked his watch, and Akaashi looked at the clock by his bedside: 15:04. “—late lunch!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chuckled at that, but stood to get changed. He threw on some Oikawa-approved clothes in the bathroom, and emerged to a thumbs-up from his friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How long ago had Oikawa become a friend?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Also, if you’re free,” Oikawa started as Akaashi moved to open the door, eyes on his friend, “Refreshing-kun and I have dinner on Tuesdays to catch up! You should—“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa cut himself off as the door opened, looking at something over Akaashi’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned and came face-to-face with Kuroo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was frozen with one arm raised in a fist to knock, his jaw lowered slightly in surprise, his eyes widened by an emotion Akaashi wasn’t sure of. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Forget lunch! Tetsu-chan, you make sure he eats, and I’ll get back to my Iwa-chan!” Oikawa insisted, shoving past both of them and escaping down the hallway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi couldn’t even stare down at him, gaze locked on Kuroo’s in the doorway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of them had to speak, or at least move, eventually, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo lowered his arm and twisted his face into a shy smile that didn’t suit him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kuroo-san,” Akaashi greeted. “Hello.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That stupid nickname. Akaashi had spent so much time loathing it over the weeks he hadn’t heard it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I come in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded stiffly and stepped aside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo stood awkwardly in the center of the room, so Akaashi sat on his bed and gestured for him to take the desk chair, which he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was silent for another moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You should be,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he wanted to say. “Why now?” he asked instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck and avoided eye contact, looking anywhere else in the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kenma kicked me out of my own apartment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh. Did he need a place to stay?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said I can come back when I ‘stop being a selfish fucking coward,’ as he so eloquently put it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What on earth did that mean?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I’m here, finally apologizing. I figured you should know I’m still a coward, I didn’t work up the courage to come here on my own, or anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you’re still here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo’s eyes widened marginally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another moment of silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really am sorry, you know. For disappearing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I’ll forgive you if you tell me why.” That was a lie. Akaashi desperately wanted to hold this grudge, but he knew he’d forgiven Kuroo as soon as the apology had tumbled from his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo sat back in the chair and dropped his gaze to the floor. “I can’t do that. I’m sorry. That might be the only thing I can’t do. But I promise to make it up to you. I’ll be the best friend that I can. I swear, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi narrowed his eyes. Yes, he forgave Kuroo, but that didn’t mean he trusted him not to leave again, and that would hurt. He’d feel like a fool for buying into his current assurances. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me take you out to lunch, like Oiks said. We can go to Suga’s café and, well I’m assuming Bo’s made sure you got fresh air so… Oh! I know! Tsukki’s bookstore. Well, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>his, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but where he works. You met him, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, yes, the bitter blonde. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A bookstore did sound nice. Akaashi nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo’s face melted with relief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi, having already prepared to leave with Oikawa, stood with his things. “Shall we go then, Kuroo-san?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo nearly leapt out of his seat to open the door for Akaashi before he reached it himself. “Yeah! Yeah, after you, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hear there’s a game next Friday,” Akaashi said as they exited the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right. I have to see if they’ll let me play.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t they?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that. I sorta got suspended from the team.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stopped walking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo shrugged nonchalantly. “Eh, just showed up to a few practices hungover.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi narrowed his eyes. Kuroo laughed uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess I adopt some bad habits when I’m avoiding things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kenma lets you do this?” Akaashi asked as they resumed their movement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He expresses his disappointment but usually doesn’t stop me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hummed. “I suppose I’ll have to be there to stop you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo flushed. “O-oh. Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were quiet until they reached the café, a normal occurrence for Akaashi, but odd for Kuroo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After you, Starlight,” he said, holding the door open. Akaashi rolled his eyes. They sat at the same table as Akaashi had with Bokuto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kuroo! Akaashi!” Sugawara called as he strolled over, apron around his waist and notepad in hand. “It’s nice to see you guys!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to see you as well,” Akaashi said at the same time Kuroo said, “Sup, Suga!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What can I get you two?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Caramel Macchiato and…” Kuroo squinted at the menu behind the counter, “...whatever an Irish cream latte is!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Still going through the menu, I see,” Sugawara sighed, and Kuroo smiled his Cheshire Cat smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Sugawara was gone, and Kuroo’s attention was back on Akaashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are your hands?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked at the bandages before answering. He probably should have redone them before leaving. Oh well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. It only stings when I grab things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And your knees?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stings a bit to bend them, but again, fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t be messing up your hands, Starlight. You’re a setter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi huffed. “I haven’t been a setter in years.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, now that you’re dating Bo, you’re basically a setter again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suga dropped off their drinks, and Kuroo took a huge gulp while Akaashi mindlessly stirred his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t think I know what this is,” Kuroo said, looking at his cup with amusement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi rolled his eyes and picked his cup up, wincing slightly when the pressure and warmth stung his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as he’d taken a sip and started to lower the cup, it was being taken away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't just ignore the pain, Starlight. Need me to help?” He was smirking, and the way he held up the mug indicated he was offering to hold it for Akaashi’s every drink, which wasn’t going to happen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Obstinately, Akaashi took the mug back using the tips of his fingers on both hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo looked smug, and Akaashi wondered if he’d gotten his way after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really couldn’t trust that annoying cat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sugawara returned to offer them pastries, and Kuroo asked for two bowls of beef Soba, after receiving an approving nod from Akaashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Conversation focused on past volleyball experiences, and Akaashi realized that maybe he missed it a bit more than he thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two got Konoha’s number back at the party, correct?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should arrange some time to hang out together. I set for him a bit back in high school.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will do, Starlight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t have a chance to touch the door as he left, as Kuroo was still insistent on opening them for him, and he followed just behind them as they walked to the bookstore, which Akaashi had never been to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The store had a sleek black front, with the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>In Fine Print </span>
  </em>
  <span>in white on a small sign above the entrance. Across from the bookstore was a flower shop, through the window of which Akaashi recognized one of Bokuto’s friends from the 3v3, Yamaguchi if he remembered correctly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The flower shop had green paneling and was a sharp contrast to the bookstore only a few meters away. Akaashi could smell the flowers from where he stood, and it reminded him of Bokuto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re smiling, Starlight,” Kuroo teased. Akaashi sent him what he hoped was a withering glare, but Kuroo seemed to laugh it off with ease. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no bell dinging as Kuroo opened the door to the bookstore, a notable difference from the café Akaashi had come to frequent, and instead of the strong smell of coffee and sugar, the scent of newly printed pages wafted over Akaashi, and he found it familiar and comforting, his shoulders relaxing with just one step inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell you what, I’ll buy you all the books you want as an apology, and since I’m a perfect gentleman, I’ll even carry them for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi rolled his eyes and sighed, but he planned on taking full advantage of Kuroo’s guilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stacked on books he’d heard of but hadn’t had the chance to read. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kafka on the Shore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Beautiful Creatures. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A Tale of Two Cities. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Half an hour later, Kuroo was balancing an impressive stack of books in his arms, and Akaashi decided to take pity on him and head for the register. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah. Kuroo and Bokuto’s newest victim,” Tsukishima said from behind the counter. Kuroo plopped the pile of books down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsukkiii! You ought to be nicer to us. Isn't my advice what got you together with Yams in the first place?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Tsukishima scoffed, and he set about ringing up the books. Kuroo handed him his card, and Tsukishima raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I was a dick, and this is my apology.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They glared at one another for a moment, and Akaashi felt like a witness to some sort of telepathic conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. Have a nice day,” he said in the fakest voice Akaashi had ever heard, and he was quickly becoming good friends with Oikawa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kuroo dropped Akaashi back off at his room, he set the pile of books on the desk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t stay up too late reading and forget to sleep. You seem like the type to do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had, indeed, quite frequently as a child. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine, Kuroo-san. Thank you for today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries. I owed it to you. I’m not done, either! I was serious; I’m going to be the best friend you’ve ever had!” he promised, and Akaashi rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Goodbye, Kuroo-san.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo smiled softly over his shoulder, pulling the door closed behind him. “Bye, Starlight.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>IM SO FREAKING IMPATIENT OMG I just want to skip to the start of the next term so THAT can happen but nooo Akaashi wants to go to his boyfriend’s volleyball games smh</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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